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New Dad Tactical Bag

$99.99
41 reviews
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In The Box

Baby Chic

  • Baby Owner's Manual
  • Red Bull
  • Turkey Perky Jerky, 2.2 oz
  • Military Energy Gum

Child-Rearing Essentials

  • Mustachifier
  • Camo Blanket
  • Camo Beanie
  • Ear Plugs

How It Ships

New Dad Tactical Bag ships in a cardboard box.
Items are packed inside the baby bag (17"L x 10"T x 3.5"D) and shipped in a cardboard box.

  • Some shipping restrictions apply
    Some shipping restrictions apply
  • Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
    Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
  • Choose your delivery date at checkout
    Choose your delivery date at checkout

Story

A Mighty Seed

Your child, the one who will bear the name of your forefathers fearlessly into futures unknown, is destined for greatness that will ring out o'er all the land. One day the world will mark the epochs by your child's mighty deeds.

But first there will be dirty diapers. An unbelievable number of very dirty diapers. This bag will come in handy.

Don't Call It A Diaper Bag

We ship you childcare provisions in a genuine Voodoo Tactical bag- a versatile, multi-pocketed mobile childcare command center. Dash out of the boardroom with this badboy over your shoulder and no one will know that you're off to change a diaper and not deliver M20 rounds to the front lines. Every pocket comes pre-packed to give you a leg up on fatherhood.

Start with the Baby Owner's Manual - possibly the only instruction book you'll read in your life- full of useful sections like:

  • Troubleshooting Your Baby's Audio Cues
  • Installing the Pacifier - In this case, a Mustachifier*
  • Swaddling

Yes, swaddling is a word- one you'll need to learn and apply, and you can start with the included camo swaddling blanket and baby beanie. In this stylish and functional garb your child will inspire jealousy and command respect- you'll just have to be extra careful not to lose sight of them in densely wooded areas.

Fuel For The Journey

We're also sending you lots of high-energy snacks to keep you at peak performance for your mission- lean, guaranine infused Perky Jerky, RedBull energy drinks, and no-BS military grade caffeinated energy gum. The clincher- two sets of earplugs for mom, because every dad quickly learns to appreciate a well-rested mom.

Crawl, walk, then run. You're in for one hell of a ride.

* Just because they're too young to grow one doesn't mean they don't look good with one.

Customer Reviews

    Heather
    Oct 24th 2018
    Amazing gift for a new father

    It’s a durable bag that men would want to carry around. Lasts forever too!

    Bo Bentley
    Aug 21st 2016
    The Best!!!!

    I received this as a gift from my brother-in-law before my son was born... PERFECT!! My wife and I have showed it to everyone! The ONLY problem? I went to by one for my other B.I.L. who's having a girl... there's no girl version :( Something to think about guys!

    Thanks a bunch!!

    Kurtis Morgan
    Jul 8th 2016
    Perfect gift

    I bought this for my little bother that just had a baby and he absolutely LOVES it! He continues to give me thanks and praises over how amazing the pack is and how much he uses it. Highly recommended this gift...almost bought one for myself but my Son is 5.

    Jaclyn Fawcett
    Jun 11th 2016
    Best Purchase Ever

    I bought this to announce to my husband that we were pregnant. I had to overnight it because I couldn't wait to tell him. It showed up overnight as promised. He absolutely loved it. He loved the bag and everything that came with it. I'm so happy with this purchase!! I will be buying more.

    L Hausler
    Jan 18th 2016
    perfect new dad gift

    Got this for some close friends for their baby shower. Great gift for the soon-to-be new dad as baby and mom tend to gets lots of fun stuff but sometimes dad gets a little "left out". Great quality and he sent text with his picture and his new man bag. Said it was absolutely awesome!