Man Crates Note Generator: The Art of the Perfect Gift Note


If you ever have the pleasure of adding one of our amazing gifts for men to your online cart, you’ll see that the next page that pops up shows the product with an empty text box to the right of it. That’s your chance to dazzle your giftee with the perfect gift-accompanying prose. Think you might buckle under the pressure? We’ve got you covered. Underneath the gift note box, you’ll see our Note Generator Tool, aka your personal automated message savior. Find out why we go the extra step to help you craft a “just right” note and sample a few of our favorite options.

The average human being speaks about 15,000 words a day. You’d think that with all that chatter, it’d be easy to come up with the right words at the the right time. But we’re a rare breed, and things just don’t work out like that. From fumbling words on a job interview to telling your family’s disturbing history of outies on a first date, as much as we try, we’re always going to have trouble saying what we really mean when it really counts. And maybe it’s our faulty wiring that makes it so difficult for us to come up with gift messages.

The right phrasing can turn a get well soon card into an inspiring game changer. A meaningful anniversary card may turn things around when you forgot that the right date was two months ago. And even a “nice to meet you” card can start a friendship off to a good start. But no matter the occasion, a lot can ride on saying the perfect thing, so that’s why we decided to flip gift note writing on its head with our Note Generator Tool.

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We’ve worked very hard to come up with the best things to say with the gifts you give, whether it’s going to your dad or that one guy in college who finally had that growth removed. So because of that, in a dark, lonely corner of our office, we send our brave writers to face their words and help people say what they really mean. We know it’s worth their blood, sweat and finger cramps to help you out when you’re not quite sure what to say. And of course, we use enough cleverness that even Michael Scott would be on board.

Here are the Note Generator’s available options for funny birthday card messages, Father’s Day card messages, and pretty much any other occasion.

  1. “If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Tyranno-gorgeous Rex.” Everyone loves hearing how good you think they look, so why not do with a prehistoric flair? With a note like this, you’ll elevate his self esteem, and carbon won’t be the only thing getting dated (if you catch our drift).
  2. “Thanks for the chromosomes, those were solid.” Your father did the hard work dealing with your nonsense, so the least you can do is tell him how thankful you are for that beautiful spiral that’s your DNA.
  3. “Just wanted you to know I’d choose you first for gym class dodgeball. Proud to know you.” This note isn’t lovey-dovey at all, so it’s perfect for those occasions when you’re just saying thanks or get well soon, and don’t want the swooning attention of that individual.
  4. “If one of my shenanigans ever lands me in jail, you’ll be my one phone call.” We all have at least one ride or die person in our lives, so tell him how much you’d appreciate him hiding incriminating evidence to save your hide.
  5. “Sorry to hear about your accident. Hope everything’s still working.” Sometime bad things happen to good people, or smart people do dumb things and get hurt. Either way, they say laughter is the best medicine, and this note is sure to get his sarcastic humor going again.
  6. “Here’s a hint: It’s not the new Harley you wanted. Hope you like it anyway.” You know that Harley’s too expensive, and honesty is a righteous trait. So just be upfront and let him down easily using humor, and a wooden crate that he can take out his frustrations on.

For your main squeeze…

  • “If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Tyranno-gorgeous Rex.”
  • “I’m so glad you’re tall enough to reach things on the high shelves and strong enough to open the pickle jar.”
  • “Are you asthma, high altitudes or any form of mild exercise? Because you take my breath away.”
  • “This is me wooing you. How’s it working?”
  • “Let’s make like the U.S. and Cuba and start ‘resuming relations.'”
  • “You are my unshakable rock, my guardian angel, my joint-filing spouse for federal tax purposes.”

For your father figure…

  • “I’m much obliged for the adequate shelter and sustenance you provided during the dependent years of my life.”
  • “Thanks for passing down those chromosomes. That was pretty solid.”
  • “I’ve been bragging, ‘My dad can open a crate’ for years now. Don’t make me a liar!”
  • “Here’s a big thank you for all those years you suffered raising me. So, I guess we can call it even?”
  • “Thanks for passing down your sarcastic dad humor…and also your exceedingly good looks.”
  • “You’re a grandfather! No, I’m not having a baby. Sorry if that was misleading.”
  • “No matter how old I get or who I meet, I’ll always love you most. Also, send cash?”
  • “I’ve got 99 problems, but a lame dad ain’t one. I know you don’t get this reference, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”
  • “You’re like a fine-aged whiskey. Tasteful, mature, and still strong enough to drop a man with just a few fingers.”

For your bro…

  • “My bad about that explicit wedding toast—glad your new family has a sense of humor.”
  • “You are the Kirk to my Spock, the Starsky to my Hutch. I love you, Bro Montana.”
  • “I’ve been thinking we should quit our jobs and make that funk-rock record. You in?”
  • “There are many types of love worth celebrating: Brotherly love is one. Passionate love of food is another.”
  • “They say it’s better to give than receive…looks like I win again!”
  • “Who cares what everyone else says, I think you’re great!”
  • “Not to get all mushy and emotional on you, but…here. K, bye.”

For your offspring…

  • “I love you like a fat kid loves cake…a cake that took nine painstaking months to make and could probably find time to call more often. Love, Mom”
  • “I know I’m not always the best at expressing my emotions…and today is no different. – Your Dad”
  • “You are our finest creation, the statue of David to our Michelangelo, except with clothes on.”
  • “Okay, we admit it. You got grounded so much because we just liked having you around the house.”
  • “The day you were born was the happiest day of our lives. The day you were made was the second. TMI?”

For that other guy…

  • “Thanks for not stealing the office supplies and all that other stuff you do.”
  • “You put the “cool” in “water cooler office gossip”. Keep co-workin’ it!”
  • “Thanx fer edjuc8ing my kid! Nawledge iz power!”
  • “There’s no one I’d rather be sharing close living quarters with, even if you do keep stealing one of my socks from the dryer (I KNOW IT’S YOU!)”
  • “You’re not just our mailman, you’re our mailfriend. Thanks for always swinging by!”
  • “Perhaps you’ve had some time to reconsider some of those non-negotiables? (hint: This is a bribe!)”

For literally anyone…

  • “You could have left me to the wolves and no one would have blamed you. Thanks for getting my back.”
  • “If one of my shenanigans ever lands me in jail, you’ll be my one phone call.”
  • “For a guy who can crack the toughest nuts.”
  • “Just wanted you to know I’d choose you first for gym class dodgeball. Proud to know you.”
  • “Never got to properly thank you for that stock tip—let me know if you can make it to the yacht party.”
  • “Hollywood got it wrong. You’re the last of the Mohicans.”
  • “They know everything. Call it off.”

Want more gift note inspiration? Check out our list of funny and completely borrowable birthday card messages.

So all in all, though gift notes might have you all tongue-tied, it’s not the end of the world. That’s what the dinosaurs thought too, but we digress. When it comes to sending a messages or writing something special on a birthday card, all that matters is that it comes from the heart. And if you sincerely want to compliment that special person, but don’t know what to say, just choose your gift and use our Note Generator Tool to your heart’s content. We promise we’ll never tell.