When the moon in the sky looks like meat that’s been dried
When the waves of the sea smell of charcuterie
When your feelings are true and “just flowers” won’t do
When your love for your hub leads to five tasty chubs
Don’t get us wrong, we’re pro flowers! Flowers produce honey which makes the world and BBQ wings that much sweeter. Without flowers, the Rose Parade would just be another LA morning traffic jam. But rarely will flowers woo a man.
Some men are literally colorblind to the beauty of a bouquet. Other guys just aren’t turned on by being handed yet another thing to try to keep alive. Since fresh-cut flowers don’t cut it on Valentine’s Day, we’ve made some delicious improvements to the traditional bouquet.
We began with the classic Valentine’s Day flower bouquet, then taste-tested and replaced every flower that wasn’t of sufficient flavor with chunks of seasoned charcuterie. Before we knew it, all the flora was gone and five 8 oz. sticks of full-flavored salami remained. Success.
These seasoned salami sticks are attached to stems, wrapped as a bouquet, and hidden inside a boring, cliche flower box that can be delivered anywhere for a private or public declaration of delicious affection. It’s a sensual salami surprise that is sure to kickstart full-scale romance.
When he peels back the wrap and his heart gives a clap
When the smell makes him drool like a love-bitten fool
When there’s oil on your skin and a flirtatious grin
When the mood is just right and you snack through the night
In an awesome cardboard box (NOT A CRATE). Corrugated C Flute cardboard with regular slotted style...told you it was awesome!
06/18/2017 Val Salami Bouquet 5
My dad loves all forms of desiccated meats, but Columbus holds a special place in his heart. This year, for Father's day, we gave him his man bouquet and he absolutely loved it! The duct tape wrapping also caught his attention and gave us all a great chuckle as he tried to knife the poor box to death to get in. Well worth it! Needless to say, this is a great gift!
02/14/2017 Megan Salami Bouquet 5
My husband just opened his and started crying he was laughing so hard!!! He loves it!! We can't wait for them to come back in stock to send to his friends
01/31/2017 Sydney Salami Bouquet 5
What an awesome and creative gift for Valentine's Day! I love the design of the box and how it says MC Bouquets on the outside and "Surprise, It's Meat!" on the inside. The only bummer is that the box got a little beat up during shipping. However, when I opened it up I was pleasantly surprised to see the bouquet was sitting perfectly inside and presented very nicely. I can't wait for my boyfriend to open it! I'd love to see even more unique holiday gifts like this in the future from ManCrates! Keep up the good work.