Maybe you know spicy. Maybe you're in the 1% of pilgrims that have actively sought out the most painful, deliciously masochistic foods to sample, but we're betting you're not.
Smart money says this crate is going to put a welcome-to-the-NFL, Dick Butkus hit on your tongue. Proceed with caution.
Some people just want to watch the world burn one tongue at a time, like the team over at Mad Dog 357 who specialize in delivering an unforgettable lesson in life-affirming pain.
This fierce collection of hot sauces is an unforgettable intro to the delightful world of flavor-love through pain:
|Boomslang Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce||Toss out the Tabasco. This sauce combines the unforgiving bite of Africa’s most lethal snake with the relentless heat of the infamous Ghost Pepper. Great for concocting extremely dangerous homemade chili, tacos, and tuna salad.|
|Mad Dog 357 Sriracha Reaper Sauce||Summon the savory pangs of sriracha at your next barbecue. This truly hot sauce will raise eyebrows and burst wide the floodgates of persistent perspiration. Add to eggs, pizza, or nachos for familiar sriracha flavor and uncontrollable eye-watering.|
|Mad Dog 357 Pure Ghost Hot Sauce||Deemed the Spectre of Spice, even the slightest drip of this extremely hot sauce will haunt tongues and imaginations for years to come. From tamales to tikka masala, a dab of this all-purpose sauce will raise the stakes and the average body temperature of any meal.|
You've got to get into some deep psychiatry to uncover a reason why anyone would willfully snack on fire. And yet we do. Carnivore Candy’s Volcanic Jalapeno Jerky is the highest peak, the temple on top of the mountain in the pilgrimage for pleasure through pain.
We've also made the perils and delights of this journey easy to share. If people ask you why you're crying, give 'em some Hot Headz Inferno Chips and Cornfero cinnamon ghost pepper popcorn. They're not as intense as the sauces, but they pack enough punch to disperse the skeptics and silence the naysayers.
It's put up or shut up time. This crate separates the men from the boys faster than your tastebuds can fire an all-points-bulletin, full-volume S.O.S.
In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.
Showing reviews 1-12 of 98 | Next
05/20/2016 Kaleigh Hot and Spicy Crate 5
They are not kidding about this sauce- IT IS NO JOKE. I ordered for my spice loving husband. He is no wuss when it comes to hot foods. The jerky and chips alone were a force to be reckoned with. I watched him and his brother cry through dinner when they put the Mega Death Sauce on their burritos. It was hysterical. All and all the box was great fun! The only way it could have been just a bit better is if the diabolical duct tape was put on the wooden crate itself and not on the cardboard box. It did not slow him down much. Excellent customer service and product- will definitely order again!
01/29/2016 Abby Hot and Spicy Crate 5
Got this for my Dad's birthday. He loved the whole concept, thought it was hilarious, especially since we gave it to him out at a restaurant. Can only imagine what our server thought about the guy at her table prying open a box with a crowbar! But even better than the gift was what I experienced after. There was a small mistake made with my order. Nothing that affected my dad's enjoyment of his gift. I contacted the company and Molly was super quick with a response and a great resolution! Was more than I was expecting, even knowing from previous reviewers that this team gives great service! I definitely recommend them and will be ordering again in the future!
01/26/2016 Jackie Hot and Spicy Crate 4
I got this for my boyfriend and he absolutely loved it! He was very touched that I got him a "project" rather than just a gift. I will definitely be buying more gifts from man crates in the future!
He actually realized rather quickly that the bottom of the crate wasn't gorilla-glued shut so it only took him a few minutes get it open.
Generally speaking, the prices are pretty unreasonably high for the amount of product you receive. If it weren't for the awesome packaging and presentation, I probably would not purchase from here.
01/4/2016 angie Hot and Spicy Crate 4
i was pretty awesome, and the husband loved it, however....It is REALLY hard to get into. the super duper industrial grade glue is a little much. he broke the crow bar trying to get in. I would buy this and other products again, but, i will make sure we have extra tools...like a hammer.
12/29/2015 Denise Hot and Spicy Crate 5
I recently gave this crate to my brother-in-law for Christmas. It was fun watching him try to open the gift. With the "gift wrapping" and the actual crate, it took him about 20 minutes to finally open his gift. Once he finally saw what was inside, he loved it. I would order again.
12/29/2015 Tiff Hot and Spicy Crate 5
My coworker loves spicy food and he absolutely loved the crate! He said the beef jerky was awesome and the chips were delectable. Thanks for a great Christmas present~
12/28/2015 Jackie Hot and Spicy Crate 5
I got this for my brother-in-law for Christmas, he loved everything about it!! From having to pry the crate open to all the spicy ingredients inside, he could not wait to cook with them!! His birthday is coming up in January, pretty sure I already know where I am getting his gift from,.
12/27/2015 Madeline Hot and Spicy Crate 5
My boyfriend loves hot sauces and spicy foods, this was the perfect Christmas gift! He's even keeping the crate. He tried them all, the ultra death sauce caused some numbing, but apparently in a good way. Would get again!
12/26/2015 Katy Hot and Spicy Crate 5
I always fill my husbands Christmas stocking with hot sauce. But who needs a stocking when you can have a crate?? Best stocking ever!
12/4/2015 Cynthia Ejiogu Hot and Spicy Crate 5
My son loved this for his bday! He loves anything spicy! He and my younger son where happy trying the products because they couldn't talk because their mouths where on fire! Keep it up man crates ! This is the best for real men with a mouth up to the challenge !
09/27/2015 Arielle Hot and Spicy Crate 5
When my husband saw the box on the counter when he got home from work he didn't know what to think. I had it "gift wrapped" so it was just a duct taped cube. Watching him cut into it and then pry the crate open would have been worth it even it the box was empty! Everything in the box was intact. The chips weren't even crushed! He loved everything included. He made me try a chip and they were HOT! Everything about this crate was perfect and went way beyond expectation. I had to speak to customer service after placing my order and the man was just wonderful! Thank you for an all around great experience! This will be my go to site for all my gifting to the men in my family. :):)
09/16/2015 Unknown Hot and Spicy Crate 5
What a fun anniversary gift! My husband loved it. I had fun watching him open the crate. Contacted Man Crates for assistance and the customer service was outstanding. Will recommend to my friends.
Showing reviews 1-12 of 98 | Next
So you plan to journey to the far shores of flavor, to the realm of insanely spicy. You yearn to lean over the edge of the world and gaze through the sundered souls and broken bodies of those that lost their grip on sanity, just to see if you can pull yourself back.
Spice is merely pain- glorious in affirming the mortal bonds between mind and flesh.
The first step in your journey is to learn the language to describe that pain. You must learn the Scoville scale, the yardstick for those that want to describe the difference between 'excruciating' and 'unbearable'.
When early pilgrims sought words to share the sensations wrought upon their tongues by the intense heat of their foods they needed a unit of measurement. It was agreed that the essence of a spice would be extracted from the food and five willing souls would agree to blindly judge its heat. Such spices tasted in isolation overwhelmed the senses and defied both useful description and comparison. To the everyman a jolokia pepper and a habanero pepper are both "Really damn hot."
The brilliance of Scoville's process was to dilute the spice with equal parts sugar solution, over and over again until the spice was neutralized. The number of times that the spicy extract had to be thinned before the heat was imperceptible to the five judges became the Scoville rating for that spice.
The tongue is imperfect and the Scoville method an impure science, however it was sufficient for the early disciples of pleasure through pain to begin their transcription of somatic experiences into holy spicy writ. We're going to require some astronomical numbers to describe the level of spice you're going to encounter. We'll rely on a physical analogy to ground ourselves, converting Scoville units to pounds of weight to drive the relative measure of pain we're describing.
The Jalapeño- 3,500 Scoville Units. A Full Closet Vault- 3,500 lbs
Let's begin with a basic pepper, a staple of Latin American cooking- the Jalapeño pepper. One doesn't have to venture further than the bar in their village to find Jalapeños on nachos, stuffed Jalapeño poppers, or jars full of pickled Jalapeños. Call it the first small step of your journey, a gateway pepper that's readily available and likely to lead to experimentation with heavier spices.
The Cayenne Pepper- 30,000 Scoville Units. The Hubble Space Telescope- 24,500 lbs
The Cayenne Pepper is what gives Korean kimchi it's kick, what gives Szechuan Chicken its wings. In western cuisine it's often the dangerous ingredient that turns a mild chili spicy. At almost ten times the Scoville units than the Jalapeño, the cayenne commands respect amongst the bold and inspires fear among the timid. If you struggle to handle the pain the capsaicin in cayenne peppers delivers, you're not ready for this journey.
The Habañero Pepper- 200,000 Scoville Units. A Blue Whale- 200,000 lbs
An ancient Amazonian pepper, the habañero pepper changed the course of culinary history when the Conquistadors learned of it. Weighing in at a whopping 200,000 Scoville units, the habañero was hotter than anything in the known world at the time. It was carried on the wings of flavor-crazed demand through Europe's trade routes and into far-east Asia so quickly that habañeros can be found in traditional recipes hundreds of years old in cultures around the world. Due to it's early, widespread adoption one must consider this a mainstream, though still dangerous, pepper.
The Jolokia Pepper- 1,000,000 Scoville Units. Antonov An-225 'Cossack' 1,000,000 lbs
To understand how hot the Jolokia pepper is let's talk about how heavy the Antonov An-225 'Cossack' is. The largest plane ever constructed by the Soviet Empire, the Cossack was designed to carry space shuttles on it's back and entire platoons of tanks in its cargo hold. To refuel once with unleaded gasoline would cost roughly $143,788. There is no heavier earthly flying machine, and practically nothing hotter than Jolokia peppers.
Also called Ghost Peppers, Naga Chilis, and the Vegetable King of Pain, Jolokias aren't a natural pepper, but a hybridized product of multiple pepper strains. Only man could invent something so cruel. There are few occasions where man may cry- eating Jolokias is one of them.
Don't be afraid. This is exactly what you wanted. Eat some Jolokia chips. Slather a hot dog in After Death Sauce. Complete your journey.
Make or buy a delicious batch of thickly sauced barbeque chicken wings. That thick sauce will provide an opaque chamber that we can load up with lethal hot sauce later on.
Everyone that wants to affirm their love of life puts their name on a slip of paper in a hat. Pull two slips to determine who will face off in Hot Wing Roulette. Blindfolded, the participants sit opposite eachother with a wing in front each of them. Dress one wing with a healthy slather of Blair's After Death Sauce.
Eat your wings with gusto. Any hesitation is a clear sign of weakness and grounds for disqualification.
Who wins? We're not really sure, but one person will get a mouth-scorching to remember. Pro-tip: If you put hot sauce on both wings while the contestants are blindfolded you double the chance that each one gets the hot wing from 50% to 100%. Sounds like a win to us.
Want to play?
Send a Friend the Hot & Spicy Man Crate today.