Salami Bouquet is temporarily unavailable
In The Box
- Columbus Peppered Chub, 8 oz
- Columbus Sopressata Chub, 8 oz
- Columbus Calabrese Chub, 8 oz
- Columbus Chorizo Chub, 8 oz
- Columbus Italian Dry Chub, 8 oz
How It Ships
- Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
- Choose your delivery date at checkout
When the moon in the sky looks like meat that's been dried -- That's salami
When the waves of the sea smell of charcuterie -- That's salami
When your feelings are true and "just flowers" won't do -- That's salami
When your love for your hub leads to five tasty chubs -- That's salami!
Don't get us wrong, we're pro flowers! Flowers produce honey which makes the world and BBQ wings that much sweeter. Without flowers, the Rose Parade would just be another LA morning traffic jam. But rarely will flowers woo a man.
Some men are literally colorblind to the beauty of a bouquet. Other guys just aren't turned on by being handed yet another thing to try to keep alive. Since fresh-cut flowers don't cut it for men, we've made some delicious improvements to the traditional bouquet.
The Salami Snackphrodisiac
We began with the classic flower bouquet, then taste-tested and replaced every flower that wasn't of sufficient flavor with chunks of seasoned charcuterie. Before we knew it, all the flora was gone and five 8 oz. sticks of full-flavored salami remained. Success.
These seasoned salami sticks are attached to stems, wrapped as a bouquet, and hidden inside a boring, cliche flower box that can be delivered anywhere for a private or public declaration of delicious affection. It's a sensual salami surprise that is sure to kickstart full-scale romance.
When he peels back the wrap and his heart gives a clap -- That's salami
When the smell makes him drool like a love-bitten fool -- That's salami
When there's oil on your skin and a flirtatious grin -- That's salami
When the mood is just right and you snack through the night -- That's salami!
Feb 20th 2018
My wife got for this for me. She depends on your level of meatfulness dedication to provide a quality product. This is fatty garbage. Year after year, stupid holiday after stupid holiday, your offerings are the only thing I look forward to. You have disappointed me, my wife, my 2-year-old daughter, and our infant son. I'm afraid his first words will probably be "fast food quality soy junk" after this. Hopefully you find my words as those of encouragement, and get back to making amazing man meats. Maybe rub some bacon on your next offering.
Waiting to be filled with meat.
Feb 16th 2018
I sent this to my husband for Valentine’s Day after hearing about it on a podcast. Most of his co-workers are female and as soon as he opened it they all jumped on mancrates.com
to see if they could order them last minute for their husbands. The bouquet even earned a “my wife is better than your wife” instagram post from my rarely active on social media husband. If you’re reading this, ORDER IT! He will love it!
Feb 15th 2018
Ordered this for my "manly" man and had it sent to his office. It got the perfect response that I imagined. He was a little embarrassed as he was getting teased by the ladies in the office about getting flowers as they didn't take him as a "flower" receiving type of man. Then he opened the box and Applause all around! He loved it and everyone in the office thought it was the Greatest and Unique Gift.
Feb 14th 2018
Best Wife & Best Valentine's Day
I ordered this for my husband and had it delivered to his office for Valentine's Day. The delivery of a flower box created quite the stir in his office. His coworkers wanted to know if I really loved him or if I was in trouble for something.
Once he opened it, not only did HE love it, but his coworkers were delighted, too. They said I was the best wife ever. He said it was his best Valentine's Day ever. Then he said he had to get off the phone because he had to finish showing his meat to everyone else in the office.
Feb 14th 2018
Epic Valentine's Day Gift
I stumbled upon this site when searching for a Valentine's Day gift for my boyfriend. It was hard to choose a gift because there were so many great options, but I decided on this bouquet. I showed a picture to his friend prior to giving him the gift and his friend described it as "epic" and wanted me to pass along the website to his wife for future gifts. My boyfriend absolutely loves this gift and also can't wait to use the site for gifts for his dad and brother. Thank you, Man Crates!