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Salami Bouquet

$59.99
21 reviews

Accepted
Salami Bouquet product has been discontinued

Alas, it is no more.

Why is this discontinued?

Al Gore, inventor of the Internet, was throwing a rollerskating disco inferno in our warehouse last night and decided to invent pocket-sized Man Crates by cutting into eighths our entire supply of Snack Sensei Crates.

I don't believe you

In The Box

Romantic Meats

  • Columbus Peppered Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Sopressata Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Calabrese Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Chorizo Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Italian Dry Chub, 8 oz
*This is a seasonal product.

How It Ships

Salami Bouquet ships in a cardboard box.
In an awesome cardboard box. Corrugated C Flute cardboard with regular slotted style... told you it was awesome!

  • Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
    Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
  • Choose your delivery date at checkout
    Choose your delivery date at checkout

Story

That's Salami!

When the moon in the sky looks like meat that's been dried -- That's salami

When the waves of the sea smell of charcuterie -- That's salami

When your feelings are true and "just flowers" won't do -- That's salami

When your love for your hub leads to five tasty chubs -- That's salami!

Don't get us wrong, we're pro flowers! Flowers produce honey which makes the world and BBQ wings that much sweeter. Without flowers, the Rose Parade would just be another LA morning traffic jam. But rarely will flowers woo a man.

Some men are literally colorblind to the beauty of a bouquet. Other guys just aren't turned on by being handed yet another thing to try to keep alive. Since fresh-cut flowers don't cut it for men, we've made some delicious improvements to the traditional bouquet.

The Salami Snackphrodisiac

We began with the classic flower bouquet, then taste-tested and replaced every flower that wasn't of sufficient flavor with chunks of seasoned charcuterie. Before we knew it, all the flora was gone and five 8 oz. sticks of full-flavored salami remained. Success.

These seasoned salami sticks are attached to stems, wrapped as a bouquet, and hidden inside a boring, cliche flower box that can be delivered anywhere for a private or public declaration of delicious affection. It's a sensual salami surprise that is sure to kickstart full-scale romance.

When he peels back the wrap and his heart gives a clap -- That's salami

When the smell makes him drool like a love-bitten fool -- That's salami

When there's oil on your skin and a flirtatious grin -- That's salami

When the mood is just right and you snack through the night -- That's salami!

Customer Reviews

    Angie
    May 13th 2019
    To my son for V-day from his Italian Mom

    He loved it! But, I’m hoping you’ll have them available by Father’s Day?

    Debbie L Flanary
    Mar 3rd 2019
    Salami Bouquet

    A perfect gift for anyone that loves salami. The quality is excellent!

    Kayla
    Feb 15th 2019
    Salami

    I had a salami bouquet scheduled to be delivered to my husband's work on Valentine's Day. Unfortunately FedEx delayed the shipment and he didn't receive it until the day after Valentine's. He did say the salami was very delicious and the packaging was great!!

    Oklahoma
    Feb 15th 2019
    Perfection

    My BF and I live 7 hours away from each other at the moment so I sent this to him for Vday. He was more worried about being embarrassed by coworkers and when it arrived he was so hallow with it and his coworkers (mostly male) was impressed and loved it also! It was a big hit and delish!

    Melissa
    Feb 15th 2019
    Boyfriend loved it!

    Gave it to my boyfriend for Valentine's day and he loved it. Great gift!