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Cow-pocalypse Crate

$119.99
60 reviews
The Cow-pocalypse Crate includes six different kinds of jerky and brings so much meaty deva-taste-ion it would give a T-Rex heartburn.

Ships immediately! Orders placed by 3PM local time ship out the same day.

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About This Gift

Crate
  1. 1 Sealed Wooden Crate

    Not too tough to open, but not too easy either. Sealed for the perfect amount of fun.

  2. 2 Man Crates Crowbar

    Because just bare hands wouldn't be fair. Plus, it's pretty handy around the house.

  3. 3 Customizable Gift Note

    This is where you give him the warm and fuzzies. Helpful hints provided at checkout.

  4. 4 Corrugated Shipper Box

    To keep your gift in pristine condition, and to keep the mailman from getting jealous.

Unleash The Meat

"Less is more" is a nice adage when discussing smooth jazz and abstract art, but when applied to cured meats, the "less is more" argument collapses faster than a vegetarian attempting powersquats at the gym.

With artisan beef jerky, more is clearly more, and it's about time the insatiable carnivores of the world stop receiving the short end of the Slim Jim.

Everything In Meat-eration

Gone are the days of choosing between quality and quantity. The Cow-pocalypse Crate suckerpunches this dualistic fallacy with twelve arrogant packs of drool-inducing beef jerky. To ensure supreme flavor of the highest order, we've undergone the same strict hand-selection process as the Slaughterhouse Crate, but this time we used both hands when grabbing from the mountain of marinated perfection.

With this much sheer meat poundage, you can live recklessly. Toss it all into a cow-shaped Protein Pinata and let it rain down like a meatier shower, fill a swimming pool with it and dive in a la Scrooge McDuck, or go the conservative route and consume it all in one sitting in preparation for winter hibernation. The Cow-pocalypse Crate truly makes dreams come true.

So sharpen those incisors and shimmy into your stretchy pants, because the Cow-pocalypse Crate is bringing enough meaty deva-taste-ion to give a T-Rex heartburn.

Each and every Cow-pocalypse Crate comes hand-packed with these items curated by our team:

  • 2 Carnivore Candy Jerky, Sweet Picante (3 oz)
  • 2 Country Archer Jerky, Crushed Red Pepper (3 oz)
  • 2 Country Archer Jerky, Teriyaki (3 oz)
  • 2 Real Steak Jerky, Cracked Chipotle Pepper (3 oz)
  • 2 Jeff's Jerky, Jalapeno Carne Asada (3 oz)
  • 2 Field Trip Beef Jerky, Original (2.15 oz)

All orders placed before 3pm local time will ship the same day.

  • How do I know if my gift will arrive in time for the big day?

    Great question. When checking out, you can select your gift’s guaranteed arrival date. We’ll show you all the shipping options and costs, and you can select which one works best.

    In general, we abide by the Rule of Three:

    If you’re order is placed before 3pm local time, we’ll ship it out that same business day.

    If your order is placed after the 3pm cutoff, well, all hope is lost…kidding! We’ll have your gift out first thing the next business day.

    NOTE: Any gifts with personalized items will require an extra 1-2 business days so we can manufacture it to perfection.

  • I’d like to surprise him. Could you deliver his gift on a specific day? Pretty please?

    Well, since you asked so nicely...of course!

    When choosing shipping options in checkout, you can also select a later delivery date. We’ll keep his gift safe and sound in our warehouse until it’s time to send it.

    Pro-Tip: You can choose delivery dates well into the future, so you could select and schedule all your important gifts for the rest of the year. How clever and responsible of you!

Families
Not only was I excited to send it, but he was thrilled to receive it!

Real Customer Reviews

    Elizabeth
    Nov 6th 2014
    THE FRICKIN' BEST THING EVER!!!

    I wanted to send something to my husband at work and, after being disappointed at florists' sites because I wanted manly gifts to be delivered, I searched the internet. Thank God - Man Crates appeared into our lives and I know we'll never be the same! He loves this crate, so full of yummy beef jerky. Actually, he wasn't at work when it was delivered, but got it in the morning. Every man at his office went to the Man Crates site to see what it was about and to try to guess what he got. Men were standing around his desk asking him to open it, watching with anticipation like boys on Christmas morning! I've been tagged as the "Best Wife Ever," but I'm just happy that my husband is enjoying this so. Will buy other kits, too, just to keep the love and envy flowing. Your customer service is unsurpassable and I'm thrilled that, as diabetics, we can switch items out for candy in your gift packages. Love this concept too. I'm glad you exist and am proud to be a part of helping y'all grow. Keep coming up with additional choices, please. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

    Nicole
    Dec 8th 2014
    Meat-tastic

    I wanted to do something special for my husband and stumbled upon this amazing site on Pinterest. Atlas, I have found gifts to send to my kevlar wearing, tactical guy, meat eating husband. His crate arrived exactly on time, actually a couple days early! When it arrived he was ecstatic and really enjoyed that he got to open a gift with a crow-bar. This gift truly suited him as an individual especially with different types and flavors of the best jerky man crates has provided. Thank you Man Crates and I will continue to order from you guys.

    Carla
    Dec 15th 2014
    Unique gift

    I wanted something a little different this year, and thru social media stumbled on this website. He absolutely loved this gift since he is a jerky fanatic. It was fun watching him use the crowbar to break into the stash. I will be a repeat customer, but I suspect next time the element of surprise will be lost to that of excitement. Btw- he loves the meat and said it is great.

    Kreed
    Dec 18th 2014
    Hubby & His Co-workers Loved It!

    I watch the Blaze TV channel and the Pat & Stu Show advertised your crates. I thought it would make a cool gift for my hubby who was going to be offshore on our anniversary.
    He said the crowbar "laughed" at opening the box. He had to get a crescent wrench to hammer the crowbar into the top edge because it was nailed & glued...lol
    He had an audience before he broke into it and every one got a kick out of it. He said some of the guys headed out saying they were gonna go order one for their Dads.....lol
    Much thanks to all of you for this great product & "man-ly" packaging and I wish you continued success!

    Bridget
    Dec 23rd 2014
    Cow-pocalypse Crate!!

    I have now bought these for my husband and both of my sons. Needless to say - they loved it! My oldest son had his delivered this week and he didn't wait until Christmas to open it! I finally found a gift my guys all love!

Watchmaking kit
About Man Crates
Our Mission

Giving gifts should be exciting, not just a formality.

Man Crates is building a world where it’s fun and easy to find unique, meaningful gifts for all the men in your life.

We go the extra mile to curate high-quality gifts for all kinds of guys, so you can feel confident you’ve found his perfect gift, no matter who he is.

Because your gift to him should be as special as he is to you.

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