Story
Unleash The Meat"Less is more" is a nice adage when discussing smooth jazz and abstract art, but when applied to cured meats, the "less is more" argument collapses faster than a vegetarian attempting powersquats at the gym.
With artisan beef jerky, more is clearly more, and it's about time the insatiable carnivores of the world stop receiving the short end of the Slim Jim.
Everything In Meat-eration
Gone are the days of choosing between quality and quantity. The Cow-pocalypse Crate suckerpunches this dualistic fallacy with twelve arrogant packs of drool-inducing beef jerky. To ensure supreme flavor of the highest order, we've undergone the same strict hand-selection process as the Slaughterhouse Crate, but this time we used both hands when grabbing from the mountain of marinated perfection.
With this much sheer meat poundage, you can live recklessly. Toss it all into a cow-shaped Protein Pinata and let it rain down like a meatier shower, fill a swimming pool with it and dive in a la Scrooge McDuck, or go the conservative route and consume it all in one sitting in preparation for winter hibernation. The Cow-pocalypse Crate truly makes dreams come true.
So sharpen those incisors and shimmy into your stretchy pants, because the Cow-pocalypse Crate is bringing enough meaty deva-taste-ion to give a T-Rex heartburn.
Cow-pocalypse Crate
In the Box
- Country Archer, Teriyaki, 2.5 oz
- Country Archer, Fuego, 2.5 oz
- Landjaeger Original, 2.75 oz
- Carnivore Candy Korean Style BBQ Brisket Beef Jerky, 1.8 oz
- Carnivore Candy Caribbean Rum Brisket Beef Jerky, 2.2 oz
- Carnivore Candy Chipotle Tequila Brisket Beef Jerky, 1.8 oz
- Carnivore Candy Creeping Reaper Brisket Beef Jerky, 1.8 oz
- 2 Original Grass Fed Beef Sticks, 1 oz
- 2 Jalapeño Beef Sticks, 1 oz
- Beer Sausage Sticks, 4 oz
- 6 Grayson's Cajun Beef Sticks, 0.25 oz each
- 6 Grayson's Habanero BBQ Beef Sticks, 0.25 oz each
How It Ships
Choose your delivery date at checkout
Some shipping restrictions apply
Story
Unleash The Meat"Less is more" is a nice adage when discussing smooth jazz and abstract art, but when applied to cured meats, the "less is more" argument collapses faster than a vegetarian attempting powersquats at the gym.
With artisan beef jerky, more is clearly more, and it's about time the insatiable carnivores of the world stop receiving the short end of the Slim Jim.
Everything In Meat-eration
Gone are the days of choosing between quality and quantity. The Cow-pocalypse Crate suckerpunches this dualistic fallacy with twelve arrogant packs of drool-inducing beef jerky. To ensure supreme flavor of the highest order, we've undergone the same strict hand-selection process as the Slaughterhouse Crate, but this time we used both hands when grabbing from the mountain of marinated perfection.
With this much sheer meat poundage, you can live recklessly. Toss it all into a cow-shaped Protein Pinata and let it rain down like a meatier shower, fill a swimming pool with it and dive in a la Scrooge McDuck, or go the conservative route and consume it all in one sitting in preparation for winter hibernation. The Cow-pocalypse Crate truly makes dreams come true.
So sharpen those incisors and shimmy into your stretchy pants, because the Cow-pocalypse Crate is bringing enough meaty deva-taste-ion to give a T-Rex heartburn.
Customer Reviews
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Dec 26th 2019
Man Crate Laughter
Santa brought both my boys a Man Crate for Christmas. Watching them figure out how to open it was hysterical. I have movies that will bring tears to my eyes for years to come. I highly recommend getting them wrapped in the Duct Tape. They loved that! Extra tools may be required aside from the crowbar included. Then when my one son finally got it open, he loved the variety of Jerky inside. If you have men in your life with a crazy sense of humor, this is the gift for them. Watching them unravel the duct tape and try to open the crate is the gift that keeps on giving! My other son is an engineer and he tried to cheat the duct tape by using a knife but he still opened it wrong and had to peel all the duct tape anyway. His was not in a crate but hilarious to watch him open just the same. He got the Hot Sauce making kit. He loved it. I wish I could share the movies I took. It made our Christmas. Thank you Man Crate!
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Aug 9th 2019
This made his day
It was my second time ordering from Man Crates. First time ordering an actual crate. My boyfriend loved it so much he took half the jerky and crate to work and showed and shared with everyone. The women from his office were actually photocopying the card that was included with other items you carry. They plan to order for their sons, boyfriends, husbands, and fathers gifts. They loved it! The quality of jerky, packaging, presentation, and the great customer service was amazing.
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Feb 28th 2019
fantastic
it was a birthday gift and well everyone young and old needs a crate of beef jerky in their lives.
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Feb 16th 2019
Perfect Gift 10/10 !!
My Fiance Loved it!
He had fun opening the crate and was super happy about what was inside.
Will definitely order more crates!
Team Man Crates have the best Customer Service! Fast and effective!
Guys you are the best! Made my fiance's day!
Thank you again! -
Dec 29th 2018
A GREAT Surprise Gift
I purchased this for my son, who eats jerky like candy, as a surprise Christmas gift. Well, he not only had an awesome time trying to open it, laughing the whole time, but was amazed at all that was inside!! The jerky is great he said and was gaga in the amount he now had all to himself. Great gift for my Deputy son who eats it all day when stopping for lunch or dinner is not an option. Thank You, Man Crates!!