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Ramen Connoisseur Crate

Bathe your tastebuds in brothy goodness with the Ramen Connoisseur Crate.
  • Bathe your tastebuds in brothy goodness with the Ramen Connoisseur Crate.
  • Achieving supreme taste has never been easier.
  • Remember, the noisier and messier you slurp your noodles, the greater the compliment.
  • Six delicious gourmet ramen packs to ruin cup-o-noodle for the rest of your life.
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Regular Price: Sale Price: $49.99
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Does not contain alcohol
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Not Your Common Ramen

To the uneducated, “gourmet instant noodles” may sound like an oxymoron, like “vegan bacon” or “tasty vegan bacon”, but there exists an underground realm of savory gourmet ramen, where bowls abound and exotic flavors reign supreme.

By foolishly conflating instant ramen with sad, sorry Cup-O-Noodles, the Western World has barely skimmed the spicy broth surface of superior ramen. The Ramen Connoisseur Crate is a starter kit in the journey toward adventurous eating, creating exquisite taste at an instantaneous pace.

Advanced Techniques

We’ve scoured the most exotic Japanese, Korean, and Chinese markets to find these world-class ramen flavors. Beginner boilers should heed these objectively optimal preparation instructions to maximize taste:

  • Prepare packs only with triple-distilled water imported from the volcanic hot springs of Mount Fuji
  • Move heat source as close to sea level as possible for even cooking times- this may require taking the water boiler to the lowest level of the library or the locker room of the aquatic fitness center
  • Allow noodles to 'breathe' for 5 minutes once the pack is opened before adding to hot water- singing to the dry noodles for these 5 minutes opens the pores and allows them to harmonize with the essence of their environment

The Ramen Doctor

MSG? Try PhD. The Ramen Connoisseur Crate has an advanced degree in Exquisite Flavor and Seasonings. The authentic Chili Seasoning, Chili Oil, and Japanese Pepper can doctor up the worst of dining hall blunders, or bring knock-off Ramen to a consumable standard.

And of course, ramen this enticing doesn’t go unnoticed by those with jealous, dubious intentions. These chopsticks are the most intimidating way to ward off future Ramen rivals (and there will be many).

Awaken your tastebuds with the Ramen Connoisseur Crate, and see how deep the ramen bowl truly goes.

Superior Noodles

  • Shin Ranyun Ramen
  • Ottogi Jjangjang Ramen
  • Neoguri Ramen
  • Sapporo Ichiban Ramen
  • Hikari Menraku Ramen Tonktufu
  • Hikari Menraku Ramen Shio

Superior Flavor

  • Chopsticks
  • Chili Oil
  • Chili Seasoning
  • Japanese Pepper

*Wooden bowl and ancient mystical iron pot not included.



In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.

Become the True Ramen Connoisseur

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    Product Reviews

    1. 06/22/2016 Tammy Ramen Connoisseur Crate 5

      Happy Ramen Man

      My husband has an obsession with Ramen and when I saw this crate I knew it was the perfect gift for his picky tastes! Sure enough when he opened it he was head over heels and couldn't wait to get into the kitchen! best gift ever! I got an even better reaction out of this one than i did with the ammo can poker set which he loved too!!!

    2. 02/22/2016 Trish Ramen Connoisseur Crate 5

      Finally Nailed It!

      Got this crate for my boyfriend (who is damn near impossible to please) thinking this would be a nice gift that he wouldn't mind receiving. Well I was completely taken aback by how much he absolutely loved it! He must've thanked me at least 10 times saying it was the best gift he's gotten in a long time. Unfortunately it arrived a day early so I wasn't there to watch him crack it open but he made sure to let me know how great it was.

    3. 02/17/2016 Charli Ramen Connoisseur Crate 5

      {Wo}man Crate

      My husband bought this for my for my birthday. He even wrote {wo} in front of the man crate logo all over the box. I love ramen and loved this. I was surprised the crate was glued instead of nailed but it was still fun to pry open. I know this is a niche market but I'm sure plenty of women love these crates too!!

    4. 01/4/2016 Kristen Ramen Connoisseur Crate 5

      Best Gift EVER

      I bought this for my husband for Christmas, and he absolutely LOVED it! He's been a Ramen fan for as long as I've known him, and he really enjoyed taking it to the next level. I will definitely be back and will be buying more crates for gifts! Could not recommend more!

    5. 12/26/2015 Becca Ramen Connoisseur Crate 5


      I bought the ramen crate for my fiance for Christmas. He loves ramen and I was excited for him to try the Japanese Pepper however, the fact that it came in a crate was the real selling point. My guy just loves crates. I was disappointed however that the crate was glued together instead of nailed. Peeling hot glue off the box kind of ruined the effect. We had to use a hammer to get the crowbar into the seam but it was pretty easy to pry open other than that. Shipping was super fast and the faux-crate cardboard box it came in was awesome. Haven't tried the ramen yet but hoping it's great. The sword chopsticks were pretty cool too.

    6. 11/24/2015 GF Ramen Connoisseur Crate 5

      great gift

      gave this to my little brother for his bday--we always make fun of him in our family for not knowing how to "cook" anything except for ramen. opening it was a hoot (we actually had to use other tools than the crowbar!) and a great personal gift for a ramen enthusiast!

    7. 11/13/2015 Kim Ramen Connoisseur Crate 5

      So Far So Good

      I sent my friend this gift. He was thrilled and sent me a picture of the crate. I asked him if he felt manly using the crow bar to open it. Seems he hasn't opened it yet--he thinks the wooden box is too cool to pry open. I'm still laughing, but pleased that he is thrilled with his box!

    5/5 for 7 Ramen Connoisseur Crate reviews

    Guide to Ramen Tasting

    Ramen Tasting (or Tea Ceremony, Isoda Koryusai)

    Some people choose wines, cigars or scotch- whatever expensive vice it is there's always a story about why each vintage is better than your usual stuff.

    "Oh this is a three-grape blend from the cool Sonoma summer of ought-nine. That was a very good year."

    Now you too can play at that game.  Ramen tasting is an affordable, delicious hobby to subtly elevate yourself above your peers.  Here we present the definitive guide to ramen tasting- a celebration of college dorm-room haute cuisine.

    1. Background

    The standard dry-pack of ramen noodles is between 3 and 4 oz. This is suitable for a single serving for one meal, or for tasting samples for 5-6 people. Prepare for your ramen tasting session as though you were hosting a wine or whiskey tasting event- create a calm, clean environment with suitable background music. Set out tasting placements for everyone who will be attending. Including name placards at each setting will prevent any potential awkwardness about who takes the honored seat opposite the host.

    Ramen Seating Chart

    If you have invited your rivals it is acceptable to set a discreet placement for your taster, so as to check for poisoned ramen.


    2. Preparation

    Nakamura! You’ve brought such lovely chopsticks. Was IKEA having a sale? (Isoda Koryusai)Seat your guests, making appropriate introductions for the guests that you genuinely like and as many passive-aggressive compliments as you can tastefully make about any rivals present. Prepare your ramen according to the instructions above, one package at a time. Bring the ramen to the table in a collective serving dish, reducing the likelihood that your rivals are able to poison any of your guests without harming themselves as well.

    You will have to make a judgement call as to whether the services of a food taster are required based on your rivals sleight of hand.


    3. Tasting

    Serve each guest ceremoniously, being careful not to expose your wrists to members of the same gender as you pour the soup, unless you're into that. Announce the name of the ramen package, and then allow for a quiet 2-3 minutes of uninterrupted slurping. Everyone should silently announce their readiness to rate the ramen by returning their chopsticks to their holders and sitting quietly.

    It is most polite to make intense eye-contact with your guests during the slurping.


    4. Descriptions

    As the host, it is your duty to open the descriptions of each ramen flavor once everyone is finished. Your first description should be an agreeable statement demonstrating your command of ramen knowledge, but not so complete as to leave no room for your guests to elaborate on or embellish your description.

    Should debate arise between guests and no agreement can be reached, it falls to you as the host to make a suitably open-ended statement with some finality so that the group can move onto the next tasting, unless the disagreement is between a rival and a friend.  Such a case is the perfect opportunity to belittle your rival's palate and strengthen the bond with your favored guests. 

    If you wish to host a ramen tasting to shore up your alliances with your friends and kinsmen and embarass your rivals, there is no better introductory kit than the Ramen Connoisseur's Man Crate


    Ramen Terms and Flavors

    • Accessible- A condescending term to describe ramen flavors everyone might like a little bit.  The seasoned taster prefers bolder, more adventurous flavors.  Compare with Oblique.
    • AcerbicDescribes both sour and bitter flavors. Normally you wouldn't want sour or bitter flavors in your ramen, so this is an excellent, ambiguously passive-aggressive descriptor for your rival's ramen broth
    • Bold- A safe word to use in place of a more descriptive word.  Anything that isn't bland can be described as bold, especially when said in a thoughtful, reverent way with a carefully furrowed brow
    • Bland- Lacking flavor, uninspired. You should be prepared to have a nunchuck fight to the death before calling a rival's ramen bland.
    • Complex- You like it, but you can't be bothered to draw from more descriptive terms. A novice adjective.
    • Elegant- A way to say you like something simple.  An excellent defensive term if a rival accuses your tastes as being underdeveloped.
    • Gestalt- The whole of its component parts, the experience of the ramen as a whole.  "I usually find shio broths thin and enchoate, but the shitake mushrooms produced a satisfactory gestalt."  
    • Miso- A hearty soup characterized by a nutty, slightly sweet flavor. Described as "Bold", "Tangy", or "Robust".
    • Oblique- A cunningly devised multi-directional flavor profile.  Using obscure words like "Oblique" to describe your ramen will signal to others that you know more about ramen tasting than they do.
    • Robust- Any flavor which isn't bland. See Bold.
    • Shio- The original ramen broth, flavored with salt and chicken or fish stock, usually thinner than other broths.  Describe as "Elegant".
    • Shōyu- Literally "Soy Sauce", a briny, umami flavored sauce. A good stock if you wish to add red pepper flakes, Siracha sauce, or Blair's After Death sauce. If unspiced, describe as "Tangy" or "Bold". If the broth has a spicy finish comment on its "delightful obliqueness".
    • Tangy- A strong, piquant flavor.  We don't honestly know what 'piquant' means.
    • Tonkotsu- A thicker ramen broth made from boiling pork bones and fat. When done well, Tonkotsu broths are a creamy, buttery vehicle for a range of other flavors- especially garlic, ginger, or pepper. 
    • Typicity- Exemplifying a particular type of ramen, e.g. Shio, Tonkotsu, Shōyu or Miso
    Step up your ramen tasting game- send a friend the Ramen Connoisseur's Crate today. 
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