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Cow-pocalypse Crate

Aristotle would have left out the “moderation” half of “everything in moderation” if he’d tasted the Cow-pocalypse Crate.
  • Aristotle would have left out the “moderation” half of “everything in moderation” if he’d tasted the Cow-pocalypse Crate.
  • Get the drool bibs out, boys. Your salivary glands will be flowing like Old Faithful.
  • Chef's Cut Jerky
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$109.99
Regular Price: Sale Price: $109.99
Adult signature required for alcoholic products
Must be shipped to a US address
Must be shipped to a California address
Does not contain alcohol
14 Choose your delivery date at checkout
Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day

Unleash the Meat

“Less is more” is a nice adage when discussing smooth jazz and abstract art, but when applied to cured meats, the “less is more” argument collapses faster than a vegetarian attempting powersquats at the gym.

With artisan beef jerky, more is clearly more, and it’s about time the insatiable carnivores of the world stop receiving the short end of the Slim Jim.

Everything in Meat-eration

Gone are the days of choosing between quality and quantity. The Cow-pocalypse Crate suckerpunches this dualistic fallacy with twelve arrogant packs of drool-inducing beef jerky. To ensure supreme flavor of the highest order, we’ve undergone the same strict hand-selection process as the Slaughterhouse Crate, but this time we used both hands when grabbing from the mountain of marinated perfection.

With this much sheer meat poundage, you can live recklessly. Toss it all into a cow-shaped Protein Pinata and let it rain down like a meatier shower, fill a swimming pool with it and dive in a la Scrooge McDuck, or go the conservative route and consume it all in one sitting in preparation for winter hibernation. The Cow-pocalypse Crate truly makes dreams come true.

So sharpen those incisors and shimmy into your stretchy pants, because the Cow-pocalypse Crate is bringing enough meaty deva-taste-ion to give a T-Rex heartburn.

Beefy Barrage

  • Carnivore Candy x2
  • Country Archer: Crushed Red Pepper x2
  • Country Archer: Teriyaki x2

Beefy Barrage (cont.)

  • Real Steak x2
  • Jeff's Famous Jerky x2
  • Field Trip x2

Delivered

In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.

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    Product Reviews

    Showing reviews 1-12 of 57 | Next

    1. 02/16/2017 Deanna Leahy Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      Fun gift

      My husband loved it. Bought as a gift for our 25th wedding anniversary. Threw traditional gifts out the window. No silver for my guy! haha! I was a little disappointed with the way it was wrapped with the duct tape. (additional 10 dollars) It came off in strips rather than being wound around the box several times so it was super easy to rip it off. Fun and unique gift and my husband loves the jerky. It was a fun gift to give. Lots of laughing. Thank you!

    2. 02/14/2017 Michelle Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      Perfect!

      Gave this to my soon to be husband (think the crate won him over?!) he LOVES it!! What man doesn't love meat, he loves the crate it comes in! And the diabolical duct tape was an added bonus! This will forever be my fail safe, hail Mary, go to gift!!

    3. 02/12/2017 Connie Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      AMAZING

      I GOT THIS FOR MY BOYFRIEND FOR VALENTINES THIS YEAR, YES HE ALREADY GOT IT AND LOVES IT!! FABULOUS CRATE AND AMAZING TREATS!!

    4. 04/14/2016 Kerry Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      Great gift

      Received as birthday gift. Wife had it shipped to work.Everybody wanted a chance to open to crate (I work with all guys). Very manly gift. Only problem I now have to share with co-workers

    5. 04/1/2016 Jason Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      Super Special Gift

      My wife surprised me with this for my 40th Birthday and it is a wonderfully manly packaged gift. Adorable how she giggled at the thought I couldn't open it, I did under 10 seconds :D Jerky after Jerky for awesome selection and variety. One of the best, most thoughtful gifts ever! Thank you Sandra!! I love you!

    6. 03/26/2016 Edna Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      A great Guy I met and dating

      Well I bought the beef Jerkyies for a real southern Cowboy who is so picky and complains of gift he has received. I got him this unique gift for his birthday and He Loved it. I recorded him attempting to open the crate and after several attempts with the crowbar he asked me for a hammer all I did is laugh in the recording once he opened it he looked like a little kid so happy with the gifts he told me this was crazy and different. Thanks Man Crate Crew you did make an impression on this man and made me look so good lol Thank you Edna

    7. 02/15/2016 Will Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      The Best Ever

      High quality jerky. Had some amazing flavors, steak and the carnivore candy were amazing. Best Valentine's Day present I ever got.

    8. 01/26/2016 Jen Westfall Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      Loved it!

      My husband is very difficult to buy for so I decided to try this for our anniversary! Ordered the Cow-Pocalypse...he loved it! Even put a picture of it on Facebook and he never puts anything on Facebook!! :-)

    9. 01/6/2016 Jesica Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      will re-order!

      Bought this for a Christmas gift for my husband who has everything. It was so much fun and an awesome concept. He loves all of the jerky. Taste is awesome. He loves it so much that he is planning on sending some of his friends one on their birthdays. Also, super fun opening this crate!

    10. 12/29/2015 Marilyn Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      DEEEELISH!!!

      The look on my mans face when he was trying to open his man crate was priceless! After a few minutes of trying to open the crate it was time to get a hammer and bust that crate open! The Jerkey is so good and there is so much of it. Best gift ever! He loved it.

    11. 12/28/2015 Kellie Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      Wonderful Christmas gift!

      My husband LOVES jerky and this crate was a hit! I highly recommend this one for the jerky lover. I also did the extra duct taping which went over well.

    12. 12/26/2015 Hubbal Coffman Cow-pocalypse Crate 5

      Perfect Man-Gift

      My business partner received this from me this year, I knew he liked beef jerky and figured this would be a good way to help him branch out from the usual Jack Links and he certainly liked it. Glad I found this place!

    Showing reviews 1-12 of 57 | Next


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