The mainstream media and its biases toward hygiene, clear articulation, and pants have always been a bit harsh on our cavemen ancestors. So their cave paintings weren’t intentionally “abstract”, and sure, they couldn’t count past five without setting down their club, but cavemen weren’t the total, no-brain nitwits they’re constantly perceived to be.
The Caveman Crate celebrates our foreheaded forefathers’ finest food contributions to modern humanity: the discovery of nuts and meat.
There’s a reason humans don’t eat anything and everything in existence, and it’s not for lack of trying. It’s because those “crude, lumbering” cavemen of old performed a thorough, detailed taste-analysis on every species and substance on the planet: sorting the good from the gross, the safe from the poisonous, the tasty from the soy-based, gluten-free vegan alternatives.
The neanderthals were our nutritional trailblazers, hunting and sampling every creature to ensure no taste was left untested. The best of beasts became the jerky bedrock for the developing civilization, namely: buffalo, cattle, turkey, and deer.
We’ve hand-selected four quality packs of seasoned jerky meat from these delicious species to demonstrate how far mankind has progressed in flavor and to instill gratitude toward the brave cavemen that brought us here.
Besides meat, our paleolithic parents also consumed wild almonds and cashews, with “wild” being a flavor dependent upon the nearby water, weeds, and waste. While sending these same primitive “flavors” would be the best way to fully appreciate the sacrifices our cavefathers made, for safety and satisfaction reasons, we’ve opted to instead include the best of the modern nut spectrum: Toffee Butter Almonds and Citrus Chili Cashews.
The Caveman Crate is our best way of paying homage to our food roots, the original sustenance explorers that became our fathers of flavor.
In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.
Showing reviews 1-12 of 17 | Next
03/17/2017 Dona Hall Caveman Crate 5
Wonderful staff and truly humbled by your kindness......thank you thank you!!!!
Dona Hall, GHSDR
02/22/2017 Unknown Caveman Crate 4
I had this sent to my boyfriend at work as a pick me up! Unfortunately. FEDEX messed up the delivery and dropped it off at a different place of business. I called MANCRATES and they sent out a new crate the next business day. While I was disappointed that his surprise was ruined (I had to ask him if he had gotten a delivery at work), I was pleased with how fast MANCRATES made things right! It took him about 10 min to get it open!! He loved the flavors inside!
02/16/2017 Happy Wife! Caveman Crate 5
I sent this to my husband at work, for Valentine's Day! He works in an Engineering facility and had access to tools, and thought it was hilarious and loved it. He texted "They sent a crowbar but the sides are glued shut! I had to hammer the heck out of it." He said his co-workers texted their wives a picture and note that "THEY wanted a Man Crate too!"
Man Crates...you should go on Shark Tank! :)
02/15/2017 Teresa Blanscet Caveman Crate 5
I ordered this for Valentine's Day for my husband.
He loved it! Thought it was great - opening the box with crow bar and has already tried most of the goodies inside - so far they have tasted great!
02/15/2017 Shannon Harris Caveman Crate 4
I bought the Caveman Crate for my husband for Valentine's Day. Wanted to give him something besides the same old boring chocolate. As much fun as it was to watch him struggle to open the very well glued crate, he got frustrated at it. Mainly b/c he is like a man and didn't read the warning instructions about how hard it will be to open that were printed on the inside of the shipping box lid. Maybe attach a tag with these warnings onto the crowbar that was included to make it easier for a "man" to see and read. Also, the note inside the crate was not mine that I wrote. The note was from a Lela and not me so I was a little upset that the note was mixed up. Wonder who actually got my note. Anywho...in the end my husband absolutely loved the crate and all the different types of jerky. Wish more was included for the price.
12/30/2016 Judy Huckaba Caveman Crate 5
I bought 4 Caveman crates for Christmas. We open gifts together on Xmas eve. It was hilarious to watch 4 young men perplexed at no instructions then attack their boxes from different perspectives! The had the best fun! THEN the noise began as they tried to hammer nails back in with the crowbars to reseal their crates!!! SUCH FUN! PS. Jerky was good too!
11/15/2016 Dave Caveman Crate 5
Fun to open and awesome grub inside
09/5/2016 debbi peterson Caveman Crate 3
Ordered for Hubby's bday. Crate was fun to open, very disappointed in the content. Tiny not so Paleo packages. He couldn't eat one. I could have done better at the grocery store. Oh well.
08/23/2016 Alexandra Gee Caveman Crate 3
I ordered my husband the Caveman Man Crate "just because" and had it delivered to his office. He loved the idea, he loved prying open the crate. He felt the contents were pretty underwhelming. :(
Man Crates brags "No bows, no ribbons, no fluff."
Unfortunately, this Man Crate was too big for its contents, and he felt there was too much "fluff" packaging in the crate compared to the 5 little bags of food.
Overall, brilliant idea, and it made for a great conversation piece in his office.
07/13/2016 Kerri Caveman Crate 5
I had ordered this for my boyfriends birthday. I SPECIFICALLY set it up to be delivered on 7-6 which is his actual birthday since I could not take the day off to hang out with him. Unfortunately, I received a text from him on 7-1 thanking me for the crate. Considering that I paid over $11 for shipping and was given the opportunity to pick my delivery date, I feel it should have been received on that date. Not almost a week early. Other than that, he was very happy with his birthday gift.
MAN CRATES EDIT:
So sorry to hear about the early arrival of your order! When you pick a date we do our best to ensure it arrives on the date you select and I'm sorry to hear we dropped the ball. Please give us a call at 866-902-7260 or email us: email@example.com and we'll do our best to make this right!
06/27/2016 Michael Hurd Caveman Crate 5
I got this one for fathers day and have had a BLAST with it! I was expecting that it would be assembled with nails (hence the flat prybar), but in stead it was glued...lots of added cursing while opening there! The food inside was EXCELLENT and the personalized card was a nice add on!
02/17/2016 Ronnie Jackson Caveman Crate 5
I bought this for my brother-in-law for his birthday. He loved it!, My sister and him bragged about it to friends, I soon had people asking me where I ordered such a gift. I was told the quality of the nuts and jerky were fantastic.
Showing reviews 1-12 of 17 | Next