Alcohol affects people differently: some become more talkative, some funnier, and some friskier, but when it comes to cows, alcohol just makes them more delicious...and maybe also friskier.
We’re not sure how they’re getting their buzz on—perhaps they’re grazing on fermented veggies or maybe their hooves have evolved to open bottles—but we do know “Cowcaholism” on the range is as widespread as it is udderly hilarious.
If you thought cow-tipping was funny, imagine “cow-tipsying,” where a one-ton, hot mess of a cow topples over of its own drunken accord. The fall of such docile beasts have given rise to our stampede of inebriated beef, the Booze-Infused Jerky Crate.
By weight, the average-sized cow can down 57 standard drinks per hour (almost 1 per minute) and still be within the legal limits of operating a vehicle or motorized tractor.
At maximum capacity, the average cow’s four stomachs can hold upwards of 62 gallons of liquid, more than a barrel of Jack Daniels (53 gallons). If only that were enough alcohol to satiate their demons.
The good news is, this means the tender beef of the Booze-Infused Jerky Crate has been marinating in a saloon’s worth of alcohol (from the inside-out) for the better half of a bovine lifetime. The results, delicious, buzzed beef jerky.
In curing Cowcaholism, we didn’t just cure the easy-capture, beer-bellied beef bodies. We herded up cows with diversified tastes from Whiskey BBQ to Pinot Noir for a wide spectrum of alcohol flavors for your jerky fix.
The full lineup of cattle intoxication includes: Caribbean Rum, IPA, Cabernet, Bourbon, Whiskey BBQ, Chipotle Tequila, Dark Ale, and Regrained IPA and Coffee Stout bars to act as a quick brunch/hangover cure.
Throwdown a double-shot of beef and booze in one bite with the Booze-Infused Jerky Crate.
In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.
01/21/2016 elmo Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
omg im in love the bbq wiskys amazing tha rum i loved spicey tho overall im in hevean
01/11/2016 Kirsti Scott Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
I sent this to my dad & grandfather for Christmas. Since I could not be present for the big day, I wanted to send them both something fun they could enjoy. They loved the packaging and the product is A+ too!
Thank you! I will definitely be ordering from you again!
12/29/2015 Nicole Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
Bought this for my Husband. He loved it, It comes with a bunch of great beef jerky. Some are stronger then others but it tastes great
12/28/2015 Ken Fouts Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
Sent the booze infused jerky crate to a friend who is retired from the Army Corps of Engineers. "It was hard to open" he says...EXACTLY...but the prize was worth it. Thanks Man Crates.
12/27/2015 sa Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 4
This crate was awesome! The only bummer about it was that he wanted to be able to keep the crate, but it split while opening. Other than that, A+!
12/26/2015 Julie Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
Love it, just one small request, find a different way to seal the crates besides glue as it damages the crate when trying to open it and the crate is a huge part of the present! The jerky we have tried so far has been very taaty. Great fun gift for that person who has everything. Will definitely order from you again.
12/26/2015 Rebecca Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
This was the best gift I could give someone. And, that jerky is amazing!
12/25/2015 kathy Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
My hubby loved it! He is in complete awe and it takes alot to woe him! He is a simple man who hates gifts but he loved this one!
12/19/2015 Meg Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
I ordered 2 of the gift cards and one Jerky crate. They sent me my order, I was so excited to see the crate! Once I got it, I noticed the Jerky was a gram not a crate. I called, and without hesitation they sent out the crate I ordered and let me KEEP the Jerky gram. I thought that was AMAZING costumer service. We ate the gram and the Rum and Wine infused were our favorites. I cannot wait for my Dad to open up his crate on Christmas, and for my Husband and his Brother to hammer away at their gift cards!!
11/13/2015 Cynthia Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
Sent to my sister for a thank you gift! Her and her boyfriend loved it! Can say enough about it. Loves the meat and loves the whole idea of the crate!
09/30/2015 Unknown Booze-Infused Jerky Crate 5
Got this for my husband for a gift. Tastes great- very fresh. Crate with crow bar was very manly! Every man should receive one of these!