"Love" is a strong word that's sometimes hard for men to say. Entangling, complicated emotional loops in our male brains can choke us up when we're trying to form that simple syllable, unless the next word is "Bacon".
There is no easier, more joyous pronouncement for us to make than to declare, unequivocally, that we love bacon.
We're not ashamed to say our love is untraditional. We love bacon in ways your parents might not approve of. We use bacon in ways that might not have crossed your mind. If you share our passion, then let this crate open your mind to seven new ways to express your love.
Start with Jeff's Famous Bacon Jerky. Ready to have your mind blown? What if we told you bacon doesn't have to just be a staple at breakfast and on your sandwich? Bacon can be a portable, dangerously habit forming companion at your finger tips, 24/7. You might start hoarding and stashing. You might tape packs of Bacon Jerky below the conference room table, sew pockets into the inner lining of your long johns, and fill the side panels of your car with bacon jerky in case you ever break down.
In fact I'm eating bacon jerky as I'm writing this, and if you had bacon jerky you could be too.
*Tenderly puts bacon jerky between teeth*
If you're caught in between bacon re-ups, you can get your bacon fix from the Bacon Salt and Bacon Sunflower Seeds. These flavorings are the culinary equivalent of getting a tender, pen-written love letter on artisinal bacon-scented paper. Temporarily separated by space and time, carry these and bacon is with you, wherever you are.
*Drizzles bacon hot sauce on tongue*
Bacon has always made straight A's for 'plays nicely with others.' We've gathered an assortment of awesome bacon-enhanced snacks from the obvious popcorn flavors to the exotic Sir Fancis Bacon Peanut Brittle. Want a deliciously twisted night in? Grab a bowl of bacon popcorn and put on Charlotte's Web. Want to impress your date with something better than chocolates? Sir Francis Bacon Peanut Brittle. If it doesn't work they're probably not a keeper.
*Thinking about calling in sick and eating bacon in bed all day*
Share our love, don't judge us.
In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.
Showing reviews 1-12 of 168 | Next
06/23/2016 Derick C. The Bacon Crate 5
My brother sent this gift crate to me, man was I surprised It took a second to pry this gem of a treasure trove open, but being a man possessing the ability to grow a full beard and all, I was definitely up for the task. I was able to pry the crate open with my trusty hammer (and the mini crow-bar which was provided in the kit, a weapon I will use to battle the hordes of undead in the near future LOL). "Lo and behold" what did I find inside??? BACON!!!! Copious amounts of precious strength producing, life nurturing Bacon!!! Bring on the zombie apocalypse w/ my survival kit of bacon I'm ready to lead Rick Grimes and his crew to safety, Negan be damned!!! LOL
06/21/2016 Doyle Smith The Bacon Crate 5
Products inside were delicious. Crate was like giving a monkey a football, took me and my little grandson to open it. He was as excided as I was. Ever see a kid rip open paper at Christmas? Not this crate, mallet and the enclosed crowbar did the trick. Thank you Rebecca, Darrell and Issabelle, love you all.
06/20/2016 Dae The Bacon Crate 5
My husband loves bacon. There was no doubt that this crate and my husband were meant for each other. Once he opened it the smile was instantaneous. He talked about it for quite awhile and just called me at work at 7:45am to tell me he was eating bacon jerky for breakfast. Awesome.
04/14/2016 Denise The Bacon Crate 5
OMG to see him chipping and banging at times with the "Man Tool" provided was so funny !!! "What kind of glue is this s**t?" What's in the Box? WHAT's in the BOXXXX!!! Haha !! A great gift and fun for friends and family to watch making bets on how long it will take him. I loved the purchase!! W
03/25/2016 Helen The Bacon Crate 5
This is the second Mancrate that I have purchased and no disappointment! It was so much fun watching my son open it--duct tape first! He was laughing and his wife enjoyed watching him struggle with it. His teenage son loved the contents of the crate and wants one for himself because his dad isn't sharing! I will definitely be purchasing more from your wonderful company!
02/18/2016 Chrissy The Bacon Crate 5
Ordered this for a Valentine's Day gift for my boyfriend and he loved it. Initially he thought the crate was the box it was shipped in, so he was surprised to open the box and have to actually open it with a crowbar. He loves the crate itself too and plans on keeping it. And of course an entire box of bacon items was great as well. I will definitely be doing this for every Valentine's Day and birthday gift.
02/14/2016 Rachel Sakitis The Bacon Crate 5
My husband had no idea what his gift was this year. The pry bar was a great addition. It exceeded my expectations! I would definitely recommend to anyone who needs new and creative gift ideas. I will be ordering more in the future.
02/12/2016 Cathy The Bacon Crate 5
I sent my first Man Crate to my husband and six year old son for Valentine's Day. They loved it!!! The first thing my husband said was that he loved how the cardboard shipping box looked like a crate. Then when he actually opened it and saw the real crate and crowbar? You could see the kid in him get excited. After 10 minutes of trying to pry open the lid and then a trip to the garage to get a mallet, the two boys finally succeeded. The fun of opening the crate and then the delicious treats inside scored this wife/mom a home run!
The jerky was great! My son ate almost half the bag of bacon popcorn within minutes of opening the bag. We haven't tried the peanut brittle, the bacon salt, or the sunflower seeds yet...but I have no doubt they'll be excellent as well.
Thank you for providing a great product and experience! I'll definitely be sending out a Man Crate again.
01/15/2016 Jenn The Bacon Crate 5
I got this for my fiancé for Christmas and he loved that he had to open it. But he really loved knowing that the crate was full of everything BACON. He loves all of the items in the crate. He used the bacon salt the first night.
01/9/2016 Kristin The Bacon Crate 4
This is an amazing gift and concept but if your man knows how to open crates, it won't take long for him to find the week spot.
I bought this for my brother who looked at every angle then opened in about a minute.
He also has a peanut allergy and I called to have a replacement. The peanut brittle was removed but was not substituted. It sucks that you can't check before the person opens it.*calling to place the order and change things was the most enjoyable phone call I ever made*
Overall I still loved this crated gift idea and I will probably be a future customer. My brother was amazed that the crow bar and crate were heavy weight items and he was happy throughout opening.
As for the stuff inside it taste delicious! I was told he couldn't eat more than a couple pieces of popcorn a day! Strong stuff!
01/5/2016 Melanie The Bacon Crate 5
This gift was a big hit. It is difficult to surprise my husband with a gift and this one was a big hit. He loved the whole process of opening the crate and all the products inside tasted great, were unique and good quality.
I'll definitely be back.
01/1/2016 Annamarie The Bacon Crate 5
Christmas Eve our family exchanges a gift from a family, pick a name and it's yours. My brother who I love, got my name. No one could figure out what the gift was, the crate took about 5 minutes to open, making the excitement even more exciting to open it. When it was opened the entire group couldn't believe the variety. The gift was enjoyed on a trip to see a football game. It was a GREAT HIT, thanks.
Showing reviews 1-12 of 168 | Next
A stale Pacific breeze wafted over the deck of the Spanish galleon, carrying the smells of the sea over Julio. Faint notes of sun-baked kelp and floating detritus couldn't mask the unmistakable saltiness of the air, and Julio's memories of yesterday morning crept into his mind. It seemed so long ago, his last breakfast with Gloria. Gloria had awakened hours before Julio, before the island dawn, to roll the dough for buttery biscuits and cut a dozen fine strips of glorious, marbled Bacon.
Bacon had sung to him from the pan at sunrise, a sweet chorus of sizzles and pops- each note punctuated by the spatter of delicious hot grease in the cold of the new day. It was to her sweet music, her sweet smell, that Julio had awoken just yesterday.
How Julio missed her. How Julio missed sweet, sweet Bacon.
Crewed on a 3 month voyage twixt the spice isles, Julio had known that morning would be their last together for a long time. He had been content to sit quietly and watch her cooking in the cast iron skillet, slowly, imperceptibly darkening from a fleshy, Philippine-sky pink to the rich, ripe, ruby hue of Bacon that's ready to eat. Bacon hardened gently, curling as her fat and lean responded to the chemical changes of cooking, as though she was beckoning Julio. As though she knew Julio was waiting for her.
It was too much for Julio- he couldn't wait. He seized a piece of Bacon from the pan and put it in his mouth. She was too hot for his hands, too hot for his tongue- she was still glistening with the juices that had been released in the pan. He held her in his teeth, breathing quickly, overwhelmed by the tease of Bacon's taste and the heat still radiating from her crispy curves.
After a drawn out moment of anticipation, Bacon was ready for him, and he took her.
Julio chewed slowly, relishing the contrasting texture of her crispiness against her supple fat. Each piece of Bacon brought deep, emotional stirrings in him- he knew he would be at sea without her for months. He struggled with his simultaneous desires to have her all at once and for their morning together to last forever. Piece after piece, bite after bite, Julio and Bacon were joined together. And as the plate emptied he didn't want to finish, didn't want it to end, but after one last emphatic bite the last crispy strip was gone and he was left with an empty plate and his thoughts.
He imagined his months apart from Bacon as he licked his fingers. The anticipation of his loneliness and the longings of their parting were somehow already laced with his feelings in their last moments together. An empty plate of Bacon is such sweet sorry.
Then Julio made love to Gloria and said goodbye.
That was yesterday, and that was miles beyond the horizon he had sailed over, but he imagined that the ocean breeze behind their sails bore its saltiness from the Bacon waiting for him at home in Manila. Julio's duties on the ship took him away from his idle thoughts, and with a mind numbed by menial labor, he went through the rest of his day on the galleon.