"Love" is a strong word that's sometimes hard for men to say. Entangling, complicated emotional loops in our male brains can choke us up when we're trying to form that simple syllable, unless the next word is "Bacon".
There is no easier, more joyous pronouncement for us to make than to declare, unequivocally, that we love bacon.
We're not ashamed to say our love is untraditional. We love bacon in ways your parents might not approve of. We use bacon in ways that might not have crossed your mind. If you share our passion, then let this crate open your mind to seven new ways to express your love.
Start with Jeff's Famous Bacon Jerky. Ready to have your mind blown? What if we told you bacon doesn't have to just be a staple at breakfast and on your sandwich? Bacon can be a portable, dangerously habit forming companion at your finger tips, 24/7. You might start hoarding and stashing. You might tape packs of Bacon Jerky below the conference room table, sew pockets into the inner lining of your long johns, and fill the side panels of your car with bacon jerky in case you ever break down.
In fact I'm eating bacon jerky as I'm writing this, and if you had bacon jerky you could be too.
*Tenderly puts bacon jerky between teeth*
You can get your bacon fix from the Bacon Sunflower Seeds. This flavoring is the culinary equivalent of getting a tender, pen-written love letter on artisinal bacon-scented paper. Temporarily separated by space and time, carry this and bacon is with you, wherever you are.
*Drizzles bacon hot sauce on tongue*
Bacon has always made straight A's for 'plays nicely with others.' We've gathered an assortment of awesome bacon-enhanced snacks from the obvious popcorn flavors to the exotic Sir Fancis Bacon Peanut Brittle. Want a deliciously twisted night in? Grab a bowl of bacon popcorn and put on Charlotte's Web. Want to impress your date with something better than chocolates? Sir Francis Bacon Peanut Brittle. If it doesn't work they're probably not a keeper.
*Thinking about calling in sick and eating bacon in bed all day*
Share our love, don't judge us.
In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.
Showing reviews 1-12 of 177 | Next
01/28/2017 CatherineW The Bacon Crate 5
I gave this to my husband for his birthday last week and he loved it! He had fun opening the crate and is enjoying the bacon treats. I was impressed with the packaging of this product.
01/11/2017 Rob Steffen The Bacon Crate 3
So I got the bacon crate as a christmas gift for my gf's dad, and it was mostly a big success. I opted for the duct tape wrapping as an option, which was a charge of a couple of dollars extra. But when they applied the shipping label to the package, they applied it directly to the duct tape wrapping, making it impossible to remove without damaging the duct tape. I'm not sure if is how they always do it, but if it is, that's stupid. You can print a shipping label that sits inside of a plastic bag, and adheres along two strips of adhesive as cheaply as you can a sticky printer label that damages the wrapping your customers are paying extra for. Anything other than how mine came would be an improvement.
TL;DR: Don't get the Duct Tape Wrapping, they ruin it with the shipping label.
12/30/2016 NOVASFANCY@GMAIL.COM The Bacon Crate 5
I bought the bacon crate for a long time friend with 2 young adult sons. I was so surprised the guys were so into opening the crate.. it is not easy, LOL.
The product was completely enjoyed, but I think the Crate was the "toy".
I will definitely order from here again!
12/27/2016 Laura The Bacon Crate 5
I ordered this and the "Smash and grab Gift Card" for two family members for Christmas. The Man Crates team mixed up the "diabolical duct tape wrapping" option and put it on the wrong box, but the gifts were the most talked about ones among my family. My brother loved the bacon crate. He had a blast opening the crate and couldn't wait to try all the bacon-inspired food.
12/24/2016 Sherry The Bacon Crate 5
I ordered this as a pregift for Christmas and my husband absolutely loved it! He couldn't believe that it came with a tool to open. I will highly recommend this to anyone!
12/22/2016 Henry The Bacon Crate 5
Received the Bacon Man Crate as a Christmas Gift! What a Great Idea and Gift. Really enjoying everything! Thanks
PS: it did take a while to get in but it was worth it.
12/16/2016 Anna The Bacon Crate 5
I purchased this as a last minute Fathers day gift for my boyfriend. Just happened to see it on Wendy Williams. He was so surprised and LOVED IT!! He keeps asking for more surprises from Man Crate.
07/25/2016 Katie Pinsonat The Bacon Crate 5
I got this for my boyfriend for his birthday, and he absolutely loved it. It's got some delicious and random treats in it, and they are all good. He even saved the crowbar to add to his too collection!
06/23/2016 Derick C. The Bacon Crate 5
My brother sent this gift crate to me, man was I surprised It took a second to pry this gem of a treasure trove open, but being a man possessing the ability to grow a full beard and all, I was definitely up for the task. I was able to pry the crate open with my trusty hammer (and the mini crow-bar which was provided in the kit, a weapon I will use to battle the hordes of undead in the near future LOL). "Lo and behold" what did I find inside??? BACON!!!! Copious amounts of precious strength producing, life nurturing Bacon!!! Bring on the zombie apocalypse w/ my survival kit of bacon I'm ready to lead Rick Grimes and his crew to safety, Negan be damned!!! LOL
06/21/2016 Doyle Smith The Bacon Crate 5
Products inside were delicious. Crate was like giving a monkey a football, took me and my little grandson to open it. He was as excided as I was. Ever see a kid rip open paper at Christmas? Not this crate, mallet and the enclosed crowbar did the trick. Thank you Rebecca, Darrell and Issabelle, love you all.
06/20/2016 Dae The Bacon Crate 5
My husband loves bacon. There was no doubt that this crate and my husband were meant for each other. Once he opened it the smile was instantaneous. He talked about it for quite awhile and just called me at work at 7:45am to tell me he was eating bacon jerky for breakfast. Awesome.
04/14/2016 Denise The Bacon Crate 5
OMG to see him chipping and banging at times with the "Man Tool" provided was so funny !!! "What kind of glue is this s**t?" What's in the Box? WHAT's in the BOXXXX!!! Haha !! A great gift and fun for friends and family to watch making bets on how long it will take him. I loved the purchase!! W
Showing reviews 1-12 of 177 | Next
A stale Pacific breeze wafted over the deck of the Spanish galleon, carrying the smells of the sea over Julio. Faint notes of sun-baked kelp and floating detritus couldn't mask the unmistakable saltiness of the air, and Julio's memories of yesterday morning crept into his mind. It seemed so long ago, his last breakfast with Gloria. Gloria had awakened hours before Julio, before the island dawn, to roll the dough for buttery biscuits and cut a dozen fine strips of glorious, marbled Bacon.
Bacon had sung to him from the pan at sunrise, a sweet chorus of sizzles and pops- each note punctuated by the spatter of delicious hot grease in the cold of the new day. It was to her sweet music, her sweet smell, that Julio had awoken just yesterday.
How Julio missed her. How Julio missed sweet, sweet Bacon.
Crewed on a 3 month voyage twixt the spice isles, Julio had known that morning would be their last together for a long time. He had been content to sit quietly and watch her cooking in the cast iron skillet, slowly, imperceptibly darkening from a fleshy, Philippine-sky pink to the rich, ripe, ruby hue of Bacon that's ready to eat. Bacon hardened gently, curling as her fat and lean responded to the chemical changes of cooking, as though she was beckoning Julio. As though she knew Julio was waiting for her.
It was too much for Julio- he couldn't wait. He seized a piece of Bacon from the pan and put it in his mouth. She was too hot for his hands, too hot for his tongue- she was still glistening with the juices that had been released in the pan. He held her in his teeth, breathing quickly, overwhelmed by the tease of Bacon's taste and the heat still radiating from her crispy curves.
After a drawn out moment of anticipation, Bacon was ready for him, and he took her.
Julio chewed slowly, relishing the contrasting texture of her crispiness against her supple fat. Each piece of Bacon brought deep, emotional stirrings in him- he knew he would be at sea without her for months. He struggled with his simultaneous desires to have her all at once and for their morning together to last forever. Piece after piece, bite after bite, Julio and Bacon were joined together. And as the plate emptied he didn't want to finish, didn't want it to end, but after one last emphatic bite the last crispy strip was gone and he was left with an empty plate and his thoughts.
He imagined his months apart from Bacon as he licked his fingers. The anticipation of his loneliness and the longings of their parting were somehow already laced with his feelings in their last moments together. An empty plate of Bacon is such sweet sorry.
Then Julio made love to Gloria and said goodbye.
That was yesterday, and that was miles beyond the horizon he had sailed over, but he imagined that the ocean breeze behind their sails bore its saltiness from the Bacon waiting for him at home in Manila. Julio's duties on the ship took him away from his idle thoughts, and with a mind numbed by menial labor, he went through the rest of his day on the galleon.