Caveman Crate
When will it arrive?
In The Box
- Whiskey Hill Smokehouse Bison Jerky (2.5 oz)
- Chef's Cut Beef Jerky (2.5 oz)
- Field Trip Turkey Jerky (2.15 oz)
- Crockett Creek Venison Jerky
- Butter Toffee Almonds (4 oz)
- Chili Citrus Cashews (4 oz)
How It Ships
Some shipping restrictions apply
Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
Choose your delivery date at checkout
Story
The Fathers of Flavor
The mainstream media and its biases toward hygiene, clear articulation, and pants have always been a bit harsh on our cavemen ancestors. So their cave paintings weren't intentionally "abstract", and sure, they couldn't count past five without setting down their club, but cavemen weren't the total, no-brain nitwits they're constantly perceived to be.
The Caveman Crate celebrates our foreheaded forefathers' finest food contributions to modern humanity: the discovery of nuts and meat.
Prehistoric Taste Test
There's a reason humans don't eat anything and everything in existence, and it's not for lack of trying. It's because those "crude, lumbering" cavemen of old performed a thorough, detailed taste-analysis on every species and substance on the planet: sorting the good from the gross, the safe from the poisonous, the tasty from the soy-based, gluten-free vegan alternatives.
The neanderthals were our nutritional trailblazers, hunting and sampling every creature to ensure no taste was left untested. The best of beasts became the jerky bedrock for the developing civilization, namely: buffalo, cattle, turkey, and deer.
We've hand-selected four quality packs of seasoned jerky meat from these delicious species to demonstrate how far mankind has progressed in flavor and to instill gratitude toward the brave cavemen that brought us here.
Nothing But Nuts
Besides meat, our paleolithic parents also consumed wild almonds and cashews, with "wild" being a flavor dependent upon the nearby water, weeds, and waste. While sending these same primitive "flavors" would be the best way to fully appreciate the sacrifices our cavefathers made, for safety and satisfaction reasons, we've opted to instead include the best of the modern nut spectrum: Toffee Butter Almonds and Citrus Chili Cashews.
The Caveman Crate is our best way of paying homage to our food roots, the original sustenance explorers that became our fathers of flavor.
Customer Reviews
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Jan 8th 2021
Very pleased!
I ordered the Caveman crate as a Christmas gift. When received, crate wasn't glued shut therefore, the recipient was denied the fun opening experience. I reported this and, the 100% guarantee was enforced. Another crate was sent as a replacement, free of charge!! They really do honor their word. And, my recipient was very thrilled with his crates! I will be ordering again. A hugh thank you!
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Jan 1st 2021
Caveman Crate
Never received a gift like this before. Very unique and it was the center of attention at our Christmas get together. Loved the variety of jerkys and nuts.
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Dec 26th 2020
Hubby's Xmas gift
This is the perfect gift for your man. My husband is difficult to buy for. He never wants clothes or shoes lol. He loves snacking so this is perfect for them. It was fun watching him pry it open with the crowbar lol
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Aug 28th 2020
Great taste, but missed the mark
I loved the crow bar and crate idea, but was disappointed in the price I paid for the amount of food received. I sent this as a thank you gift, and I was a bit embarrassed once the guy actually opened the crate. All that excitement for such a tiny amount of gift. For $96 I could have made a huge basket of jerky and nuts, and delivered myself.
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Jun 21st 2020
Husband loved it
I wanted to make sure his first experience was opening a package ina crate. That's a cute idea and the crow bar it comes with is cute. Husband and kids loved the food inside. This was a wonderful father's day gift and I look forward to buying many more from man crates.