A Salute to the Non-winners of the 2016 Summer Games

Entertainment Gifts

We may be experts on awesome gifts for men, but we’re no strangers to experiencing the opposite of victory. For every successful Micro Brewed Kit and Pizza Grilling Crate, there was an idea that didn’t quite work out. Like our attempt at commissioning a new Man Crates version of the Summer Games.

Hey, we get it. If everyone got a gold medal, the Summer Games would be like a T-ball awards ceremony. No one wants that. Competition is what drives us. It’s what makes everyone train for 25 hours a day. It’s how record books are rewritten. It’s how legacies endure.

But do the medalists deserve all the attention? We, at Man Crates, say no. We’d like to give a virtual high-five to all the non-winners out there. You might be thinking, “Don’t you mean ‘losers?’” The way we see it, all of these athletes are still world class. They won plenty of times in their home county. Unless you’re the only guy in Mauritania who owns a table tennis paddle. Then maybe you got in by default.

Since we’re all about bringing people together and, as necessary, cheering people up, we always look on the bright side. So here’s our glass-half-full six-line pep talk for everyone who didn’t medal at the 2016 Summer Games:

If you didn’t win, at least you didn’t come in last.

If you came in last, at least you finished.

If you didn’t finish, at least you started.

If you didn’t start, at least you got a free trip to Rio.

If you didn’t make the trip, at least you still got a national warm-up suit.

If you wear that national warm-up suit to local bar, your countrymen might buy you a pint.

Summer Games fails aside, we all have runners up in our lives. They may never come home with a medal, but you can make them feel like a winner with one of these medal-worthy sports gifts for men.

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