Salami Bouquet

$59.99
4 reviews

In The Box

Romantic Meats

  • Columbus Peppered Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Sopressata Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Calabrese Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Chorizo Chub, 8 oz
  • Columbus Italian Dry Chub, 8 oz

How It Ships

Salami Bouquet
In an awesome cardboard box. Corrugated C Flute cardboard with regular slotted style...told you it was awesome!

  • Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
    Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
  • Choose your delivery date at checkout
    Choose your delivery date at checkout

Story

That's Salami!

When the moon in the sky looks like meat that's been dried -- That's salami

When the waves of the sea smell of charcuterie -- That's salami

When your feelings are true and "just flowers" won't do -- That's salami

When your love for your hub leads to five tasty chubs -- That's salami!

Don't get us wrong, we're pro flowers! Flowers produce honey which makes the world and BBQ wings that much sweeter. Without flowers, the Rose Parade would just be another LA morning traffic jam. But rarely will flowers woo a man.

Some men are literally colorblind to the beauty of a bouquet. Other guys just aren't turned on by being handed yet another thing to try to keep alive. Since fresh-cut flowers don't cut it for men, we've made some delicious improvements to the traditional bouquet.

The Salami Snackphrodisiac

We began with the classic flower bouquet, then taste-tested and replaced every flower that wasn't of sufficient flavor with chunks of seasoned charcuterie. Before we knew it, all the flora was gone and five 8 oz. sticks of full-flavored salami remained. Success.

These seasoned salami sticks are attached to stems, wrapped as a bouquet, and hidden inside a boring, cliche flower box that can be delivered anywhere for a private or public declaration of delicious affection. It's a sensual salami surprise that is sure to kickstart full-scale romance.

When he peels back the wrap and his heart gives a clap -- That's salami

When the smell makes him drool like a love-bitten fool -- That's salami

When there's oil on your skin and a flirtatious grin -- That's salami

When the mood is just right and you snack through the night -- That's salami!

Customer Reviews

    Lauren
    Jan 5th 2018
    Best Apology Gift I've Ever Sent

    The only time I've ever apologized I decided instead of flowers I'd send this. It was an instant hit. My boyfriend loved it and laughed his head off when he saw how it was packaged. The salami itself was very tasty and a good selection. Would absolutely send this again as a gift.

    Suzanne Smith
    Dec 4th 2017
    Tasty awesomness

    Loved everything about this salami! Great gift to bring to host for a party.

    Megan
    Feb 15th 2017
    Amaze-balls!!!!

    My husband just opened his and started crying he was laughing so hard!!! He loves it!! We can't wait for them to come back in stock to send to his friends

    Sydney
    Jan 31st 2017
    That's Salami!

    What an awesome and creative gift for Valentine's Day! I love the design of the box and how it says MC Bouquets on the outside and "Surprise, It's Meat!" on the inside. The only bummer is that the box got a little beat up during shipping. However, when I opened it up I was pleasantly surprised to see the bouquet was sitting perfectly inside and presented very nicely. I can't wait for my boyfriend to open it! I'd love to see even more unique holiday gifts like this in the future from ManCrates! Keep up the good work.

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No man has ever gotten an artful arrangement of fruit and said "Holy moly, it's exactly what I wanted!"