Booze-Infused Jerky Crate

$99.99
15 reviews

In The Box

Mixed Cow-tails

  • Caribbean Rum Jerky
  • Cabernet Jerky
  • Bourbon Jerky
  • Whiskey BBQ Jerky
  • Chipotle Tequila Jerky

Beer-Bellied Beef

  • IPA Beef Jerky
  • Dark Ale Jerky
  • Regrained IPA Bar
  • Regrained Coffee Stout Bar

How It Ships

Crate
In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar

  • Some shipping restrictions apply
    Some shipping restrictions apply
  • Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
    Orders placed by noon PST will ship out same day
  • Choose your delivery date at checkout
    Choose your delivery date at checkout

Story

Cowcaholics A-nom-nom-nonymous

Alcohol affects people differently: some become more talkative, some funnier, and some friskier, but when it comes to cows, alcohol just makes them more delicious...and maybe also friskier.

We're not sure how they're getting their buzz on—perhaps they're grazing on fermented veggies or maybe their hooves have evolved to open bottles—but we do know "Cowcaholism" on the range is as widespread as it is udderly hilarious.

If you thought cow-tipping was funny, imagine "cow-tipsying," where a one-ton, hot mess of a cow topples over of its own drunken accord. The fall of such docile beasts have given rise to our stampede of inebriated beef, the Booze-Infused Jerky Crate.

A cow walks into a bar...

By weight, the average-sized cow can down 57 standard drinks per hour (almost 1 per minute) and still be within the legal limits of operating a vehicle or motorized tractor.

At maximum capacity, the average cow's four stomachs can hold upwards of 62 gallons of liquid, more than a barrel of Jack Daniels (53 gallons). If only that were enough alcohol to satiate their demons.

The good news is, this means the tender beef of the Booze-Infused Jerky Crate has been marinating in a saloon's worth of alcohol (from the inside-out) for the better half of a bovine lifetime. The results, delicious, buzzed beef jerky.

Go home beef jerky, you're drunk.

In curing Cowcaholism, we didn't just cure the easy-capture, beer-bellied beef bodies. We herded up cows with diversified tastes from Whiskey BBQ to Pinot Noir for a wide spectrum of alcohol flavors for your jerky fix.

The full lineup of cattle intoxication includes: Caribbean Rum, IPA, Cabernet, Bourbon, Whiskey BBQ, Chipotle Tequila, Dark Ale, and Regrained IPA and Coffee Stout bars to act as a quick brunch/hangover cure.

Throwdown a double-shot of beef and booze in one bite with the Booze-Infused Jerky Crate.

Customer Reviews

    Jaime
    Jan 10th 2018
    Great Gift for the Hard to Please

    My dad is the hardest person to shop for. I got this for him for Christmas and he loved it! He said it was the best gift he got! He was very happy with the quality and type of jerky in this crate and I am very happy that I found a great gift for someone who is nearly impossible to shop for!

    Steve Kenison
    Feb 18th 2017
    Great gift from my lovely wife

    Pretty much best Valentine's Day gift ever. They are absolutely correct when they say the crates are "sealed with ill intentions." You're going to have to put in some work to get to your treasure that awaits, but it's very much worth the effort.
    Haven't finished all of the jerky yet, but so far, so good. Fantastic idea. Much love to my beautiful wife for going off the beaten path!

    LaShawna Lynch
    Jan 4th 2017
    Heeeee-larious!!!

    My sister and I bought this crate for my brother in law for Christmas and paid extra for the diabolical duct tape. This was the best gift ever. At first he was afraid to open it, he thought something was going to jump out of it. He just looked at it for awhile, by this time the whole house was laughing hysterically. He managed to get through the duct tape fairly easily, but when he realized he still had to get through the crate he began to be suspect again. It was soooo funny! He then asked how to get in the crate, to which I exclaimed "It's a Mancrate, men don't read directions, so it didn't come with any!" It took him several minutes to get the crate open, and once he did he was estatic. Needless to say he had Whisky BBQ Jerky before breakfast, and enjoyed every minute of it. I also bought a crate for my brother, man we had gut -busting laughs Christmas morning. Thanks Mancrates!

    elmo
    Jan 21st 2016
    im in love wit the jerky

    omg im in love the bbq wiskys amazing tha rum i loved spicey tho overall im in hevean

    Kirsti Scott
    Jan 11th 2016
    Awesomesauce

    I sent this to my dad & grandfather for Christmas. Since I could not be present for the big day, I wanted to send them both something fun they could enjoy. They loved the packaging and the product is A+ too!

    Thank you! I will definitely be ordering from you again!

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