Sometime books make great gifts, like the driving manual for a Jaguar F-Type with accompanying vehicle. But most of the time, books gifts are boring and should be avoided.
If it’s a book you’re certain he wants, then maybe. But if it’s a book you just think he’ll like, there are cheaper ways to prop up a table. It’s a celebration, not a summer reading list.
We’ve concocted a brilliant ruse that plays on humanity’s widespread discomfort with the extremely longform written word. The Secret Stash Personalized Knife takes him from dustjacket disappointment to actual lived adventures with the simple turn of a page.
We’ve been told to judge a book not by its cover, but by the contents of its pages. Well, these pages conceal a personalized knife, so it’s basically an instant literary classic. Housed within the pages itself is a sleek Kershaw Link 3.25” SpeedSafe pocket knife with steel BlackWash blade finish.
And we’ve penned our own literary masterpiece by lasering his name into the machined aluminum handle. The only thing about this gift he’ll have to read is his name on the knife handle.
Best of all, the book can be re-used as a “security-by-obscurity” safety-deposit book.
To up the outrage factor before the big reveal, we’ve created some phoney dust jackets that will raise far more questions than answers. Choose which of these three terrible books he’ll have to awkwardly pretend to enjoy receiving:
Vampire Desires, a gripping romance-fantasy adventure of immortal love, loss, and lust;
Have You Seen My Keys, the latest installment of the unacclaimed and unrequested Sherluck Holmes mystery series
How to Hide Your Stuff, a simpleton’s conspiracy theory/self-help book from the paranoid mind of one Jedd Dangus
And if he has concerns about displaying any of these on his bookshelf, we’ve printed Plan B directly onto the spine of the book. He can remove the dust jacket and hide in plain sight the inconspicuous book, Biting Your Neighbor’s Horse: and other confusing euphemisms.
The Secret Stash Personalized Knife is an unforgettable gift of surprise and safekeeping.
In an awesome cardboard box (NOT A CRATE). Corrugated C Flute cardboard with regular slotted style...told you it was awesome!