The Ultimate Fitness Crate

As kids, we always heard that it’s what’s inside that counts. But after winning one too many most improved player awards, we realized that a “great personality” can only take you so far. It’s the reason why we started summiting mountains, backstroking across oceans, making unassisted triple plays, and routinely taking the gold in the 4x400 relay—even though we’re the only guy on the team. When you look awesome, you feel awesome.

Enter the Performance Sports Man Crate—the express train that’ll take him from super frail to alpha male overnight.* We’ve included a speed rope and push up bars to get his heart rate up, and then filled his crate to the brim with high octane energy foods and drinks to help keep him going.  As always, we airdrop this awesomeness to his doorstep or desk in a rough wooden crate with a crowbar, because let’s face it: getting to your food should be a workout in and of itself.

So whether you’ve got a Dad who can still smoke you in tennis playing left-handed, a brother who’s training for an ultramarathon, a boyfriend who can bench press a busload of toddlers, or a buddy who’s on the “oh crap I’m suddenly single” exercise plan, the Performance Sports Man Crate is the perfect non-steroidal shot of encouragement.

*Results may vary. Wildly.