The Ultimate Fitness Crate
As kids, we always heard that it’s what’s inside that counts. But after winning one too many most improved player awards, we realized that a “great personality” can only take you so far. It’s the reason why we started summiting mountains, backstroking across oceans, making unassisted triple plays, and routinely taking the gold in the 4x400 relay—even though we’re the only guy on the team. When you look awesome, you feel awesome.
Enter the Performance Sports Man Crate—the express train that’ll take him from super frail to alpha male overnight.* We’ve included a speed rope and push up bars to get his heart rate up, and then filled his crate to the brim with high octane energy foods and drinks to help keep him going. As always, we airdrop this awesomeness to his doorstep or desk in a rough wooden crate with a crowbar, because let’s face it: getting to your food should be a workout in and of itself.
So whether you’ve got a Dad who can still smoke you in tennis playing left-handed, a brother who’s training for an ultramarathon, a boyfriend who can bench press a busload of toddlers, or a buddy who’s on the “oh crap I’m suddenly single” exercise plan, the Performance Sports Man Crate is the perfect non-steroidal shot of encouragement.
*Results may vary. Wildly.
Serious cardio training gear
- Ultraspeed Jump Rope
- Push up bars
High-energy training chow
- Hammer Energy Gel
- Mojo Trailmix Bar
- Clif Bar
- Sharkies Sport Chews
- Honey Stinger Organic Energy Chews
- Justin's Nut Butter
- Pemmican Complete Food Bar
Funniest gift I've ever given someone
Posted by Bunnie on 08/30/2013 ( Performance Sports Crate 5 stars)
I got this for my boyfriend because he had been saying he wanted to become more diligent in his workouts. When the box arrived I thought it would be super cute for him to open it and see all this fitness stuff. Only he couldn't get the damn thing open. He got so frustrated he threw the box, it hit the wall and out comes all these protein bars. He was pissed but I was hysterical. Oh the irony was awesome!