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The Manscaping Crate

We worry so much about attracting potential partners with our clothes, our minty fresh breath, and our hair- why go through all that trouble just to send them screaming with the startling revelation of our fully-forrested manscapes?
  • We worry so much about attracting potential partners with our clothes, our minty fresh breath, and our hair- why go through all that trouble just to send them screaming with the startling revelation of our fully-forrested manscapes?
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$64.99
Regular Price: Sale Price: $64.99
Adult signature required for alcoholic products
Must be shipped to a US address
Must be shipped to a California address
Does not contain alcohol
14 Choose your delivery date at checkout
Orders placed by noon on weekdays will ship out same day.

One First Impression

We heard the same thing from lots of the guys that loved the Clean Shave Crate-

"This is great for everything above the collar, what about the southern hemisphere?"

How lucky we are to live in an age of retreating taboos where grown men can openly compare notes on what we do with our post-pubescent Chia-zones. And why not? We worry so much about attracting potential partners with our clothes, our minty fresh breath, and our hair- why go through all that trouble just to send them screaming with the startling revelation of our fully-forrested manscapes?  

The Diesel Option

Some people approach the problem like conservationists, pussyfooting around with trimmers and shaving techniques. That's nonsense. The only way to attack the problem is like a Chinese logging company in an unmonitored rainforest. We ship you 14oz of GiGi Brazilian Bikini Wax (unisex)- as close to the nuclear option as you can get for hair removal. Sure, there are accredited doctors and dermatologists that insist men should not use hot wax on their nether regions, but we know they're just pawns of big pharma trying to keep the best health and beauty products out of our reach.

We're also including a 20 Pack of Nad's Hair removal strips for men- think of it like a full complement of deadly-accurate sidewinder missiles- and a pair of Tweezerman Classic Points- your SEAL insertion team for extremely precise attacks.

Light Reading

With all these weapons at your disposal, you'll need a battle plan.  It wasn't pleasant, but we found the definitive guide to men's body grooming in 'Hollywood's Best Manscapes'.  We're including the full-color, hardback coffee table edition.

We have the technology. We have the tools. There's no excusing your unkempt manscape.

 

 

 

 

 

Weapons

Everything you need to tame the wild west, or south.

  • Gigi Brazilian Bikini Wax
    • 14oz microwave wax
    • Unisex
    • Excruciating
  • 20x Nad's Hair Removal Strips
  • Tweezerman Classic Points
  • Assorted over-the-counter pain killers

Strategy

'Hollywood's Best Manscapes'

  • 78 pages of hi-res full color photos
  • Interviews with Hollywood groomers
  • Disturbing close-ups
  • Informative how-to sidebars

Delivered

In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar, without bows, ribbons or fluff.

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    Product Reviews

    1. 04/1/2015 Rick A. The Manscaping Crate 5

      Never Gonna Let You Down...

      I'm no stranger to Manscaping, you know the rules, and now so do I (thanks to the handy enclosed, and beautifully illustrated, book). I've been looking for a crate like this for so long, I couldn't buy it for any other guy (but myself). I just want to tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make you understand (you should buy this crate now). I'm never gonna go hairy again, never gonna let stubble grow, never gonna get mistaken for the yeti. Never gonna pluck then cry, never gonna have skin that's dry, never gonna tell a lie and mislead you...

      ...buy the Manscaping Crate and discover a world of smooth, supple, and sun kissed man beauty.

    2. 04/1/2015 enrique The Manscaping Crate 5

      is it summer yet?!?!

      Does everyone in Brazil feel this smooth all the time? If so, I want to go to there! This crate revolutionized my grooming routine. Sayonara stray hairs, this man is ready to strut his stuff on the beach!

    3. 03/31/2015 Hayson The Manscaping Crate 5

      some of the hardest wax I've ever had!

      AMAZING! Finally a crate I can take to dinner. The high-res photo book is INSPIRATION. Id def recommend to anyone that is into not looking like total...


    5/5 for 3 The Manscaping Crate reviews
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