Some men are dog owners. They love their pets, care for them, maybe even share the couch during TV time. Other men don’t have pets--they have sidekicks.
When these men gaze into the eyes of their furry best friends, they see a bit of the wolf their cave-dwelling forefathers lost fingers trying to pet. The Chewbacca to their Han Solo. They know when the stakes are high, the best man for the job has four legs and a tail.
Not every dog can be Balto. It takes a special dog to run medicine through an Alaskan winter, and it’s probably not that pomeranian with a more expensive haircut than you. If your mutt’s an Iditarod contender, unleash his Primal Wolfosity™ with a Mammoth Smokehouse Dog Bone. It’s enormous, and apparently delicious.
When humans didn’t have the chutzpah to blast into space, it was a cosmodog that first raised her paw as tribute. Your dog might not be Laika, Hero of the Soviet Union and the only Communist we’d ever buy a beer, but you can still reward grit and valor with a delicious Alpaca Treat Feast. And keep that drool machine running 24/7 with a spill-resistant, ball-bearing water bottle just in case NASA calls in the middle of the night.
Forget fetch. If Air Bud taught us anything, it’s that your pooch might be the next star small forward of your local middle school team. Start running strength and conditioning drills with the included (and well-nigh indestructible) rope toy and your pup might have a championship ring before the Sacramento Kings.
Nothing communicates “not interested” to solicitors like sixty pounds of growling muscle and teeth. Ideally, you’ve got a dog like Cairo, the SEAL Team Six terror that was probably the one who actually got Bin Laden. But in case you own a shih tzu that runs and hides at the sounds of its own yelp, we’ve included a warning sign with enough bark to supplement the lack of bite.
And no hound would be complete without a Jolly Roger’s bandana to sport at the dog park while plundering doggie treats!
The Junkyard Dog Crate is a perfect gift for the man with a true beast of a dog, or a not so subtle hint for the man with a dog the size of a cat.
In a sealed wooden crate with a laser-etched crowbar. No bow, no ribbons, no fluff, and absolutely no instructions.