When the Thai place down the street asks us how hot we want our food on a scale of 1-5, we ask for a 6. We wish we could pay for things with jerky. Many of our gifts require a crowbar to open. As you can tell, at Man Crates, we do things a little differently. Same thing goes for our interviews. If you want to work with us, you have to know your stuff—and how to think on your feet. Or in this case fins. Our favorite interview question is “If you lived in the sea, what would you be?” And why, of course. (If you happen to be about to interview with us and stumbled across this, you’ve got a leg up!) Take the plunge and go under the surface to see how our pseudo-sea-dwelling team of gift experts thinks. Some put a little more thought into their answers than others.
Abitha would be...
“Don't know...curious, fun.”
We’re finding that answer to be a unique one.
Ali would be...
A HAPPY SHARK
“Being a shark and the same time being happy is an interesting paradox to me. I never give up and at the same time I always try to keep myself and the people around me happy; it’s a lot to do and only a happy shark can make it happen in the sea.”
Jaws was probably pretty happy to munch on Clint’s boat.
Amelia would be...
CORAL REEF / A KRAKEN
Why: “Coral reef so I can be colorful and support all the sea creatures. Then people were like, "well the coral reef is dying" so I changed mine to a Kraken because it's magical and giant and takes down pirate ships. Also I love krakens and have a kraken shower curtain.”
We can’t resist the urge to release the kraken.
Celina would be…
“They're smart, friendly and work together. The high achievers of the sea. Also, good communicators.”
Sounds like we should hire a few!
Chase would be...
“I’ve got a fluffy mustache, and I’m deep into lounging.”
No, he doesn’t have tusks.
Christian would be...
A SEA unICORN / A SUBMARINE
Why? “Not only are unicorns the most awesome and magical land creatures, but it is a little known fact that their sea brethren exhibit the same magical awesomeness as well! Also, subs are the apex predators of the sea.”
Even yellow submarines?
Dave would be…
“My last name is Cymerman, so it’s already in there. One halloween, I went as a ‘Dave Sea Merman’ with a fish tale and wig.”
Oh, we thought you meant Ethel Merman.
Emily would be...
A BLUE SHARK
Why? “I chose a blue shark specifically. Not sure, I just really like them, and blue sharks have a super cartoon character kind of face.”
Kinda like Jabber?
Garrett would be...
Why? “According to the world’s best fisherman...lobsters live forever.”
Unless they reach their “boiling point.”
GG would be...
Why? “Uh…it’s my spirit animal.”
Uh...that’s the spirit!
Irina would be...
A KOI FISH
Why? “Striving for perfection and quality.”
So she prefers ponds to seas.
James would be…
Why? “I think that they're some of the most majestic creatures on the planet. Love that they maintain family groups and hunt in packs (the family that hunts great white sharks together, stays together). They're also one of the only other animal species known to have a "culture" in their family pods, which makes them stand out in my mind. They pass their "dialect" and their secret hunting tips onto their offspring, and each generation contributes to the family history by adding their own twists on the family’s unique hunting techniques and vocalizations. Totally awesome.”
Thanks for the science lesson!
Jason would be...
A REGENERATING STARFISH
Why? “If someone chopped me up and threw me back, then each part could grow a new me, then I could start my own band.”
Would you change the spelling of your name to Starphish?
Jeremy would be...
A SEA GIRAFFE
Why? “The actual answer is I misheard heard the question, and thought they asked what animal I would be. The fun blog answer is I imagined the most interesting animal I could think of, and a sea giraffe uses its long neck to breathe out of the water, but also to get lower than other mammals and eat delicious algae.”
We know exotic meats are delicious, but algae?
Joey would be...
Why? “Cause they know how to use tools to eat shellfish and sleep on top of kelp. They’re pretty much chill all the time and eat bomb-ass food.”
Anotter otter in the group.
Jon would be...
Why? “High stamina, high speed, high intelligence, super playful and can kill sharks when needed. What’s not to like? Also, they’re super social animals within their species and with others, like humans. Also also, little known fact: The Orca (killer whale) is actually the largest dolphin on the planet. Not actually a whale.”
Dropping the knowledge!
Kristin would be...
A BELUGA WHALE
Why? “Because they are always smiling and are very social. Also, we both are extremely pale and do not tan well.”
They do hit the sunscreen pretty hard.
Madeleine would be...
A MANTA RAY
Why? “Technically, i would like to be a giant oceanic manta ray because they’re the biggest and since I’m small, it would be cool to be really huge. Plus, they basically fly underwater and can jump out of the water onto boats. They can grow to be up to 23 feet, and average 15 feet, which is three of me.”
That would mean a blue whale is 40 of her!
Meg would be...
Why? “Surprisingly enough, since choosing the narwhal, I've learned that they're actually one of the symbol animals for Virgo, which I am, and it's all very fitting in doing some reading on the subject. It's also a great match as an INFP (in the Myers Briggs Type Index), we're already like unicorns; just add water and boom, narwhal. Carefree on the surface, but with a whirlwind happening in the depths below, out of sight to others. To me, it's about being unapologetically me, embracing that which makes me unique, and remaining true to my core values in every aspect of my life, which is why working for a company I believe in, and am proud to be a part of, is so important to me.”
Now that sounds like a real interview answer.
Mel would be...
A COLOSSAL SQUID
Why? “The colossal squid is a real-life krakken. Instead of suckers on the end of its hunting tentacles, it has swiveling raptor claws. It’s bigger than the “giant” squid by quite a bit—largest eyes of any animal on the planet, with a beak that can crush human bones easily. It lives in the Antarctic. And eats mermaids.”
Madison is not pleased by that last fact.
Michael would be...
Why? “Because octopi are cunning are creative.”
Wait, what’s the plural of octopus? Octopi or octopuses? Here’s the definitive answer.
Mike would be...
Why? “Dolphin was taken.”
He’s got a good point. Or five.
Nathan would be...
Why? “They are good at killing things with their nose.”
That’s quite a different take than Celina had above.
Tim would be...
Why? “They are supposed to be the smartest creatures (better than dolphins and octopi), they can solve puzzles and dynamically change their skin color with their brain!”
Let’s see them take on an escape room!