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How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Posted by Man Crates on

Here’s the thing: The zombie apocalypse is coming. No one knows when or where it will start, but it’s going to happen. Whether it’s led by your traditional Night of the Living Dead reanimated slow-moving-corpse zombies, or the swift and agile 28 Days Later rage-virus type, it’s going to go down, and you need to be prepared. We’ve watched Rick Grimes and gang continually fight their way through a mess of walkers, and they’ve definitely had some great ideas on how to survive—like the not entirely fashionable, but totally functional, zombie-guts-as-accessories method. However, they probably could’ve benefitted from a little pre-apocalypse preparation. Hindsight is 20/20. Fortunately, we’ve got your back with our best tips for surviving the zombie apocalypse.

1. Pre-apocalypse preparation

Benjamin Franklin wrote, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Hopefully you’ll never have to meet Ben as a zombie—odds are he would win, he’s Ben Franklin!—but his words ring true. If your first indication of the zombie apocalypse is a horde of undead staggering down your street, it’s probably already too late for you. Fact is, it’s never too early to start preparing. And while gathering goods for a survival kit is key (we’ll get to that in a bit), you’ve also got to be physically and mentally prepared for complete and utter mayhem. 

2. Start running now.

Seriously. Get that cardio going and build your stamina. And don’t forget to stretch. That last thing you want to do is pull a hammy when you’re trying to give a zombie the slip, so limber up. It’s true that zombies are surprisingly strong—perhaps from eating all that protein?—so you may think focusing on muscle building is the way to go. Yes, you’re going to need to achieve a certain fitness level to fight zombies off, but strength will only take you so far. Don’t forego endurance and efficiency for big muscles. That’ll just make you harder to chew.

3. Get your mind ready for some weird stuff.

Things will get dark, so you’ve got to get your head in the right space for fighting off the undead. And don’t forget the other survivors. Their behavior may even make the zombies look like saints.

4. Watch for the subtle signs.
Something surprisingly innocuous may signal the start of the zombie apocalypse. An alert observer may note seemingly simple, weird incidents—an unexplained skin rash in a small town—that may be a harbinger that it’s the beginning of the end. Keep up on the news and pay attention to social media feeds for anything unusual. You may have to piece it together on your own, but getting ahead of things may make the difference between being a survivor or being a meal. And it may give you the edge for being first in line for survival items (or making an escape).

5. Pack it up, pack it in.

In the event of catastrophe, chances are good that you’ll be cut off from any and all supplies. So you’d better hope that when stuff hits the fan, you’re well past running to Food Town to stock up on beans. Make sure all your gear and goods are ready, whether you plan on heading to higher ground or hunkering down to make a stand. So let’s build that kit!

  • Above all else, humans need food, water and air to live. Make sure you have the minimal amount of food needed to survive, guard it and pace yourself. Essentials include peanut butter (high protein, no refrigeration needed), canned soups and veggies—these will last a long time, so stock up on them like crazy—crackers and, of course, beef jerky.
    Snack Gifts for Men

    You’ll also want to stock up on water—you don’t want to be in the position of drinking from a contaminated stream. A portable water filtration device might seem a bit decadent now, but it certainly will be worth it’s weight in gold when you don’t get dysentery!
  • Tools are essentials for your survival kit. Think hammers, shovels and screwdrivers. You’ll be ready to go should you decide to build something, and they can also act as weapons. Other things you can use for weapons? Actual weapons, like knives, swords, machetes and other sharp objects will all come in handy if you’re attempting to turn the living dead into the dead dead.
    Zombie Survival Gifts

    An axe is particularly smart—it’s good for protection and can also be used to break through walls should you find yourself, quite literally, backed into a corner. And of course our old friend the baseball bat (barbed-wire wrap not required). And don’t forget meds and a first aid kit. You’d be pretty embarrassed if your downfall came by way of an infected hangnail.

  • Some high-tech gear like generators and satellite devices are also good investments. A portable solar generator can charge all day in the sun and then run all night and keep away the creepers (or at least make them easier to see). You’ll want to know if there are other survivors out there and where they are. A satellite device will help keep the communication channels open in case you want to find a survival group to join (or to hide from). Lower-tech gear is also useful. Stock up on things like flashlights, duct tape, rope, maps and extra batteries.

PRO-TIP: Why is no one wearing protective gear when they fight zombies? A Man Crates crate can be so much more than just one of the best gifts for men. It can easily be crafted into a shield or even a helmet. Stay safe out there, people!

Stayin’ alive

Your anti-zombie tools will go a long way in keeping you safe, but if you haven’t got a plan, you haven’t got anything. A few more tips to keep in mind:

6. Don’t trust a human just because they’re human.

People have a long tradition of killing each other, so don’t think just because you meet another survivor that he/she wants you to survive. It will be lawless times, and even in times of law, humans will do curious things to other humans. Keep your eyes and ears open and be smart about who you trust. At the very least, don’t tell them where you keep all your beans.

7. Zombie-proof your place.

If you decide to stay put at some point, you’ll need to make some adjustments to keep the place safe. It’s preferable to lock down in a place with a steel door. That not being possible, a bar lock can keep zombies at bay. At the very least, make sure you have a deadlock. Bars on the windows are also a good idea—it doesn’t take a brain surgeon zombie to realize that glass will break under enough pressure.

8. Plan an escape route. Simply know which way to go when the zombies come knocking. Figure out how to escape your hideout and the area (see previous note about maps).

9. When all else fails, just remember this: You don’t have to run faster than the zombie to get away. You just have to run faster than someone else. Ah, just kidding. Humanity can only survive through, well, humanity. Just as much as food, water and air are needed for survival, so are compassion and companionship. Teamwork makes the dream work!

You’re now armed with the knowledge needed to survive the zombie apocalypse. Good luck!