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How to Survive a Flood Without Getting Super Soaked

Posted by Man Crates on

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but floods are among the most frequent and costly natural disasters that we face every year in this country (source: Internet). And the reason is, we just aren’t properly prepared for them and help isn’t always that swift to arrive. The recent floods in Louisiana sadly drove that point home yet again. It’s almost as if we don’t learn from past events, you know? Well, to paraphrase Debbie Harry, who’s more optimistic than that other Debbie, the tide may be high, but at Man Crates we are holding on and doing something about it. We’d like to get you properly prepared in case the great waters rise up to your neck in your neck of the woods. With our helpful product reviews and tips for flood preparedness, you don’t have to head for the hills just yet.

There are some fine products out there that can help you survive a flood and we’ve taken the liberty of reviewing a few of them for you. So just remain calm, all is well. All is well!

The Urban Survival Kit

This kit correctly assumes that city folk are woefully unprepared for natural disasters. This tactical backpack includes emergency sleeping bags, freeze-dried food packs, water tablets, flashlight, a solar/crank radio and much more. This is a little pricey at $295, but still a smart buy. As one reviewer puts it, “I bought one each for my girlfriend and daughter. I hope they never need it, but I sleep better knowing they each have one.”

Essential 2-Person Survival Kit

The obvious problem here is if you have a third person. It has a little bit of everything though: Duct tape, rain poncho, am/fm radio, tent, matches, knife and even a deck of playing cards. Something about playing Go Fish during a flood just feels right.

Emergency Water Pump

It’s never a great idea to let flood water remain in your house. You’ve got to get the water out of there fast before it festers—and preferably into that annoying neighbor’s yard. This little beauty can pump 60 gallons per minute. Is that good? Well, if you need to pump faster than that you will also need scuba gear.

Save-A-Life Escape Hammer

Now we are getting somewhere. The water is rising around your car, there’s no way out, right? Not with this handy hammer at your side. It also has a blade that can cut through a seatbelt if needed. A hammer that even MacGyver or MacGruber could love. You’ll be out of that car quicker than Ted Kennedy at Chappaquiddick.

Quick Dam Water-Gate

The coolest part of this product (besides that it includes the term Water-Gate), is that this “dam” rises along with the flood on its own creating a wall to keep water out. And the units are connectable to each other to create a wall as long as you want. Look out, Great Wall of China.

We would be remiss if we didn’t mention our own special Outdoor Survival Crate, which makes a great choice of outdoor gifts for men fleeing from raging rapids or a raging flock of wild turkeys.

We also recommend putting together your own little kit. Here are the essential flood preparedness items that will keep you afloat, so to speak:

  • Water—at least a 3-5 day supply; one gallon per person per day
  • Food—at least a 3-5 day supply of non-perishable, easy-to-prepare food
  • Flashlight (the one cool thing about a blackout…you get to feel like Scully and Mulder from the X-Files)
  • Extra batteries (because they are all so darn weak)
  • First aid kit
  • Medications (7-day supply) and medical items
  • Extra hygienic items (you don’t want to be stuck in a flood with no TP, folks)
  • Family and emergency contact information
  • Extra cash (make it rain in the rain!)
  • Emergency blanket
  • Map(s) of the area (Your good friends, Google Maps and Waze, may not be available in the great flood of 2022)
  • Baby supplies (Only if you have a baby)
  • Pet supplies (Don’t make the same mistake Noah did…that Ark got very messy)
  • Extra set of car keys and house keys
  • Extra clothing, hat and sturdy shoes
  • Rain gear (duh)
  • Camera for photos of damage (and the cool waterslide you build on your staircase)


And now here is a brief list of some non-essential items that are also good to have on hand:

  • Mad Libs (great for killing time with the kids while the power is out)
  • Sailing for Dummies (this book really exists!)
  • Popcorn (you can still make it on the stove, the old-fashioned way, no need for the microwave)
  • Any book by Martin Cruz Smith (he’s just a really good writer)
  • Inflatable raft (if all else fails)

There you go, now you know how prepare and survive the rising tide. If we can just figure out what to do about those polar ice caps. Someone get Elon Musk on the phone.