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How to Instantly Ascend the “Favorite Family Member” Ranks

Posted by Man Crates on



The favorite relative. Every family has one. Any time you show up at a wedding, reunion, birthday, anniversary, retirement, communion, Bar Mitzvah or funeral, there’s that one overachiever in your generation who’s everyone’s sweetheart. “Did you hear that Martha got promoted to partner at her architectural design firm? Has Martha shown you the pictures from her trip to Reykjavik?” Martha, Martha, Martha. You can’t escape it.

We’ll it’s time for an uprising. You’re going to take her title of MVR—Most Valued Relative. How? With gifts. Extremely awesome gifts. When? Now. It’s the perfect time to strike. We’ve got some timely suggestions that will have your father-in-law and all your aunts, uncles and cousins from here to Dayton singing your praises.

There’s no time waste. Cousins Day, Aunt and Uncle Day and Father-in-law Day are all coming up in the span of a week. Cousins Day is up first on July 24. It’s okay if you’re a little late, though. Your cousins won’t know it was Cousins Day. Aunt and Uncle Day is two days later, on the 26th. Odds are, your crazy aunt has it circled on her cat calendar. Then the random relative holiday season builds to a crescendo with Father-in-law Day on July 30. Don’t screw that one up.

About 0.000001% of Americans celebrate Cousin’s Day, Aunt and Uncle Day and Father-in-law Day—combined. But if you do, you’ll swiftly turn the tide and emerge as the star of every family gathering from now on. Take that, Martha.

For the guys in your family, we’ve got you covered with our collection of curated gifts for men. For the ladies, we’re coming strong with serious thank-you-note-worthy suggestions.

Gifts for cousins
Though you couldn’t always figure out how you were actually related, cousins were the best part of family gatherings growing up. Does anyone know what twice-removed means? We didn’t. It’s explained here, if you’re curious. We do know that sending gifts for Cousins Day will earn you free drinks at the next reunion.

For the gentlemen

The Retro Gamer

Enable a fun flashback to the good ol’ days of entering cheat codes and bouncing off the walls during sugar highs.




Micro Brewed Kit
You used to play with your chemistry set together as kids. This is the adult version. Plus, it yields a gallon of frothy, fermented beer.




Exotic Meats Crate
You used to dare each other to swallow pennies and eat paste. Now you can raise his game with elk jerky.



For the ladies

Fjallraven Kanken Backpack $75
You don't need to pronounce it to know that its easy-access pockets and classic 1978 design make it functional, stylish and great for toting everything from old Trapper Keepers to fresh produce from the farmer's market.


Damselfly Unicorns Are Awesome Candle $69
Only give this to female cousins that you can verify to be officially awesome. Otherwise, it would be kind of ironic.


Dorothy Parker Flask
$27
Girls just want to have fun. It's all they really want. So give them this sleek flask. Literary humor is always appreciated.

Gifts for aunts and uncles
They’re like the cooler version of parents, always sending birthday gifts and never grounding you for staying out past midnight. Maybe you get them birthday gifts. Probably you don’t. This Aunt and Uncle Day, surprise them with a gift shows you’re proud one of them shares a DNA strand with one of your parents.


For aunts

Daniela Barone Wide Cuff $85
Stylish and stealth, this beautiful cuff doubles as a Wonder Woman bullet deflector. It could really get your aunt out of some jams when she's on neighborhood watch duty.




One of a Kind Metisse Les Yeux Shirt $72
Terrific attire for lunch dates, wine-tasting events and optometry appointments. Just don't let your cousin wear it to the art museum. That would be like wearing the shirt of the band you're seeing in concert. Unfortunately for your aunt, the cat is not included.




Ecote Raffia Tote Bag $69
Upgrade your aunt's style profile with this bag that'll make her look bohemian-chic and ready to carry medium-sized items.




For uncles


The Troutdoorsman Crate

Hook the angler in the family up with this whopper of a crate to reel in major props.




Pit Master
Your uncle and your father always compete over the tongs and spatula for the right to run the barbecue. This year, your uncle will win.



Pipe Carving Kit
Shaping the briar wood block into a smoke-streaming pipe barrel will give him a chance to spend a little extra time in the workshop. He'll like that.




Gifts for Fathers-in-law

He’s not your father. He’s way scarier. Which is why you should definitely continually make an effort to win him over with bribe–uh, gifts. Here are some perfect choices that will keep you firmly inside in the circle of trust.

Personalized Whiskey Crate
Elevate a man’s whiskey drinking experience with heavy-bottom rocks glasses and a Tovolo ice sphere mold and he’ll side with you in any argument you have with your spouse.




Premium Cigar Humidor
Humidity is bad for hair and sweatiness. But it’s fantastic for cigars. This ammo can, complete with American cedar humidor, humidifier, hygrometer, cigar cutter and lighter, will make him stoked for every stogie.




The Golfer’s Crate

Your dad-in-law won’t get teed off if you help him tee up with this selection handicap-halving golf gear.