So you’ve agreed to attend approximately 847 weddings this summer because you have an exorbitant amount of friends. Weddings are beautiful. They’re a magical time in two people’s lives whe– quit rolling your eyes. You get to gorge yourself on cake, drink and publicly bust all the moves you’re better off keeping to yourself. Weddings CAN be monotonous - sure. But they don’t HAVE to be. You just need some solid strategies to keep it fun. Here are five strategies to make them killer EVERY time:
STRATEGY #1: MAKE IT A COMPETITION
Culinary pastry delights are a staple at basically all wedding receptions everywhere. Good. Use this opportunity to do something entertaining. Is the reception a little less than royal-family formal? EXCELLENT. Is your best friend there? PERFECT.
Break the post-meal/pre-dancing ice at your table with a little cake eating contest. No hands. All face. Bonus points if you can get your date to play along. Whoever finishes first gets...well, they get cake in their stomach first. The beauty of this is that everyone is now best friends because you all have icing up your noses. WIN.
STRATEGY #2: TREAT EACH WEDDING LIKE A MINI VACATION
The fact is that nine times out of 10, you're going to go somewhere you've never been, hang with people you’ve never met and end up having a REALLY good time doing it. If that doesn't sound like a trip to Cancún, then Cancún is doing it wrong.
If you go into each wedding with the same amount of “it's time to relax and have fun!” gusto as when you go on vacation, that's exactly how it’ll feel. The research behind choosing to live optimistically is that when your parasympathetic nervous system is on board and you think positively, your positive emotions expand your sense of possibility and open your mind up to more options. What's more positive than vacation and the option to have fun? Brain science, people.
STRATEGY #3: PRACTICE YOUR STAND-UP COMEDY ROUTINE
You know how you’re funnier after you get a little spirits in your spirit? Feel free to use that to your advantage. Lots of brides and grooms pass the mic around at the reception these days to take the SPEECH! SPEECH! pressure off the bridal party. This is your moment. If you can get the whole room cracking up (or groaning, either way), you’ve succeeded in bringing not just your table, but the entire party together.
This is no small feat and you should definitely think about which quirks to comment on and which college shenanigans to leave back in Freshman year. Every wedding joke has the opportunity to outshine the last, which will both challenge your neurons to slap on their sweatbands AND bring an entire room of people to tears. Bonus points if someone wets their pants. I’m looking at you, Aunt Gertrude.
STRATEGY #4: ASK HOW YOU CAN HELP
The quickest way to become the FAVORITE GUEST OF ALL TIME is to ask the couple ahead of time how you can help. The average cost of a wedding nationwide is $30k. That's enough for a down payment on a house, a really fancy new car or a half-decent haircut in San Francisco.
If you've got skills that thrill—whether you're a secret DJ, exceed in the floral dark arts or have a great smile, good breath and know how to escort people to their seats, offer to help. It keeps each wedding fresh for you and has a strong possibility to save the happy couple money and stress. If it does both, THAT is how you strut into FAVORITE GUEST OF ALL TIME pomp and glory.
STRATEGY #5: DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING (BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL BE)
Listen, headbanging in your car is one thing. Busting a move in public is a totally different beast. The good news is that this is the perfect opportunity to blend the take away points of Strategies 1,3 and 5 to create a hybrid of a hilarious dance competition.
She thinks she can do a better electric slide than you? MOVE OVER, SISTER. Boogie woogie, woogie. He doesn’t like to dance? Perhaps if there are shots and a brotherhood of other grown men “dancing” involved, he’ll change his mind.
And you know, when in doubt, be the one who brings the portable smoke machine. Everybody loves surprise smoke machines, right? Especially the bride?
The common theme of every single wedding you’ll hit this summer is YOU. Utilize the strategies. Go all out. Make all 847 of them kick ass. And if you really want to out do yourself, just bring cool gifts.