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Hollywood's Pals Celebrate Palentine's Day

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August 14th is Palentine’s Day, the one day a year that best buddies can dedicate to being fully outrageous together.

And even though  the government has been dragging their feet on officially recognizing Palentine’s Day as a national holiday, that hasn’t stopped Hollywood from showcasing how their most awesome pals celebrate this most brotastic fiesta. They never specifically say Palentine’s Day, but certain shows and films incorporate unavoidable clues that lead any observant viewer to the exact date of celebration: August 14th.

We spent the work week eavesdropping on hours and hours of screen palsmanship in the name of science. Our findings should not only confirm that Hollywood has been celebrating Palentine’s Day for years now, but give some ideas about how you and your pals can honor your fraternal spirit.

Joey & Chandler: Friends (Best Buddies Bracelet)

The Pals: Matching recliners, tender insults, and a pair of baby birds are just a handful or things that made this pair of roommates the seminal pals of the late 90’s, but it was Joey and Chandler’s unique celebration of Palentine’s Day in season 2 that stirred the conversation about suitable gifts for men, from men.

The Celebration: “The One with the Prom Video” (Season 2 Episode 14) opens with Joey giving Chandler a golden bracelet engraved: To My Best Bud as “a little extra something, for always being there for me,” and ends with Chandler giving Joey a matching bracelet and the declaration “now we’re bracelet buddies!” 

The Proof: The proof is in the plot. Joey is able to finally pay Chandler back and buy a sweet Palentine’s Day gift because of the recent role he landed as Dr. Drake Ramoray on the long-running soap Days of Our Lives. Considering previous episodes where Joey received stalker fan mail and future episodes where his character is scripted to be killed off, it is clear that this episode is catching him between seasons, specifically seasons 30 and 31 (1995-1996). 

Paying back the full $812 in one large sum rather than installments suggests Joey cashed in his initial royalty bonus from his first season which must be administered by the studio prior to filming for the next season. An air date of January sets filming schedule to early September, which would mean checks were cut the second Thursday of August 1995 and could be processed and withdrawn by that next Monday, a Monday that happens to be August 14th.

It may seem like we’re just doing mental gymnastics here to prove a point, but we used our CSI-grade photo enhancement software to zoom in on the calendar behind Chandler receiving the bracelet. Here’s what we found:

Our Take: Best buddy bracelets are the Crocs of Palentine’s Day gifts for men. They’re definitely not for everyone, or even most anyone, but the rare pals excited to wear them will do so unabashedly

Turk & JD: Scrubs (Steak Night)

The Pals: College roommates turned best buds, JD and Turk have together raised a stuffed labrador named Rowdy, confessed they are “a little married,” and even performed “Guy Love,” a song dedicated to their peculiar homosocial relationship. If anyone knows how to celebrate Palentine’s Day, it’s Vanilla Bear and Chocolate Bear.

The Celebration: In “My Last Words” (Season 8 Episode 2), JD and Turk plan to celebrate their annual holiday STEAK NIGHT, guaranteed to be “the most bromantic night ever.” The celebration involves stuffing oneself with steak and performing a choreographed dance and song proclaiming steak as “the world’s best meat!”

The Proof: Steak Night is especially anticipated in this episode because JD is extremely frustrated with his new batch of medical interns who are equally obnoxious and incompetent. After we re-watched every episode to chart JD’s Depreciation of Blind Optimism, we can gauge by his utter discouragement yet lack of outwardly aggression toward the conflict that he’s had about 6-7 weeks of experience with these interns. Most hospitals start their interns in early July, immediately after med school graduation, which puts Steak Night in the August 11-16 range.

Finally, we know Steak Night is on a Friday because JD and Turk are both able to leave the hospital at the same time despite drastically different schedules between surgery and medicine. We know from the past seven seasons that their shifts (when factoring in on-call responsibilities) only guarantees ending together when the weekend staff arrives. That would put this particular Steak Night on the Friday between August 11-16 which just so happens to be... August 14th, Palentine’s Day.

Our Take: Steak Night is the most universally accessible on the Palentine’s Day festivity spectrum. There is flexibility to celebrate with multiple pals of varying intimacy levels, and the event fosters a naturally conversive atmosphere that can range from recounting the best of memories growing up to just grunting “mmm, this steak is so good” for two hours straight. 

Wayne & Garth: Wayne’s World (Alice Cooper Concert)

The Pals: This goofballs only take three things seriously: their cable access show, Rock N’ Roll, and their symbiotic friendship While every night is a chance to party with these two excellent dude, only one night is a party as supreme as Palentine’s Day. 

The Celebration: Wayne and Garth drove over 100 miles with two backstage passes to see Alice Cooper perform live. They immediately fall to their knees to declare their unworthiness when meeting the band after the show.

The Proof: The duo are beginning to film for Wayne’s World’s network debut. We are instantly clued in that it will be a fall schedule debut because Garth’s hair clearly exhibits the effects of a humid summer in Aurora, Illinois. With Fall network debut in September, the first filming for a recently greenlit show would occur 2-3 weeks out to allow time for executive approval before airing, locating Wayne and Garth’s trip to Milwaukee around mid August.

The real kicker is in the scene immediately preceding Wayne and Garth receiving the concert tickets. While exploring Benjamin Kane’s apartment, Garth happens upon the greasy station exec’s daily planner, and reads that day’s agenda: “Daily reminder, Thursday: Purchase feeble access show and exploit it.” Benjamin then gives them tickets for the concert the next day, which would be Friday, in order to distract them. Our expert investigators employed a google calendar search to verify the date of the middlest Friday in August of 1992 which, or course, is August 14th: Palentine’s Day.

Our Take: For two dudes like Wayne & Garth whose lives revolve around rock n’ roll, a concert is the perfect testament to their buddy affections. They celebrated their Palentine’s Day enjoying a common love to the highest degree, rocking out at an Alice Cooper concert and discussing the Native American origins of Milwaukee with their rock god backstage. Your buddies’ Palentine’s Day should be catered to your interests, but it should rival meeting Alice Cooper backstage in degree of awesomeness.

This is just the tip of the iceberg in examples of Hollywood’s tongue-in-cheek Palentine’s Day celebration. Check in next week for more examples.

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